Not quite a comeback...yet...

I really feel that I reached my breaking point yesterday. It wasn't an earth shattering moment or anything. I just kind of woke up and yearned for that feeling of control. I am not happy when I feel that I cannot control what I'm putting into my mouth. I honestly derive no joy from stuffing my face and waking up feeling full. It's an awful, disgusting feeling.

I do, however, love the feeling of not eating the full serving because I'm no longer hungry. I enjoy feeling that I'm in charge of me. Back to moderation.

School is going well, and I'm finding my rhythm. I will do well in this for sure.

I'm pretty sure that work will die down just a little after this week. I'm finally realizing that it's ok to recognize my limitations in this area. There is only so much time in a week. I will meet all my deadlines, but only if I say no to people sometimes...or give them the choice of what they'd rather have done. Do you want your proposal written or do you want me to create that unnecessary flowchart....your choice :) Yeah...that's what I thought.

I am fairly confident that I will return to the gym next weekend. Maybe before. I just know that I can't take on that commitment until after the end of this week. Too many deadlines looming.

Someone thought that I sounded a little down in my last blog. I'm not really. I'm just drifting to that place in my mind that shields me from life's pressures. It's a happy place. A place of denial. No big deal.

It's good to see a lot of you guys doing really well. Good to see some of the others coming back around. We can do this. We never thought we could do it in the first place, but we did. We can do it again. I don't want to have to do it all over again though. That's why we're stopping it now, right? We must take control.

Here's the Deal

I can't even really begin to talk about weight loss right now. I'll be honest. I haven't lost any weight, and I'm positive that I've gained some. How much? Not a clue. I do know that I'm still within my acceptable range. This is just not top priority to me at this minute.

Just an update...I started school last week, and I'm really busy. I'm still swamped with my work too. Tons of deadlines approaching. It's a good thing I work better under pressure...in a way. I produce better stuff when I'm completely swamped, but I do let the pressure get to me some. I don't know if it's good or bad that I let it consume me. I'm incredibly focused...but I feel bad for all of the other things that I put on the backburner. It would be nice to find some kind of balance.

Yeah, I need to get back on track. I will. I know I will.