I'm just tired

I haven't blogged in a few days, but it's not because I'm being bad or anything. I just have a lot going on right now, and I don't really have that much to say - good or bad. Boring boring. I haven't been to the gym since last Thursday. I was supposed to go last night, but I have so much work to do right now that I didn't make it. I got stuck at the car dealership until 9 tonight, so I obviously couldn't go. I will go back tomorrow. No biggie. I'm still there (mentally). The gym will still be waiting for me tomorrow.

That's all. Have a great night.

Melissa

Yay! Melissa has switched over to blogspot. Please go visit her here.

Crossing my fingers

I ate well yesterday until my party last night. We ordered Mexican Fiesta. I did split an entree with a friend, but I still ate some chips...although not as many as usual. The problem is that I woke up this morning and ate more chips with guac. I will really have to watch it for the rest of the day.

I didn't drink that much, so maybe it's not nearly as bad as how I'm seeing it. Someone brought a pizza over at around midnight, and I immediately grabbed a piece, but then I decided that it was not that good really so why eat it? After a couple of bites, I threw it away.

A friend that has been reading some of our blogs was at my party, and she said that she wanted to join F.A.T., but that she felt a little intimidated by our workouts and such. Intimidated by US?!? While I'm extremely impressed with how far we've all come, I don't think any of us have truly claimed the badass status (in our own heads). I mean...we joke about it sometimes, but I think we most of us still don't see ourselves like this. Maybe it's just me? I explained that we are all just real people that are trying to find our way through this whole new lifestyle thing and all. She is training for the 3 day Breast Cancer walk. I don't understand how she doesn't realize how impressive that is. Anyways, didn't mean to blow up your spot, Melissa. :)

She finally said that she wants to join. Hopefully she remembers this. Here's her blog. Welcome, Melissa!!!

Going to a party tonight, and I will be really trying to watch my caloric intake. I'm crossing my fingers for a good weigh-in tomorrow. Hopefully lots of water today will get me there.

Measurable Results

I reached a couple of my big goals!!!

For the past year, I've pretty much worn the same bra size. Sure I've changed which notch I use, but I've always been in 38B, although I probably should have been in 40B at the beginning. I've been measuring myself occasionally over the past year - every time expecting to see 36B. I guess that's where I've mentally kind of drawn the line between medium and larger (for me). Last night I finally saw what I wanted to see. It has to be the boot camp. I've not done much with my upper body until this past month or so, and I suddenly hit my goal. I guess I'll consider myself thin when I get to 34B. I don't want to get below that at all. Ewww...

I am going to have another assessment at the gym within the next few days hopefully. It will be very cool to see if I've made progress from 06/28 (when they told me that I just needed to lose 2 lbs). I know I've lost 2 lbs, so I can't wait to see what they say is my body fat percentage.

Another measurable difference is my wedding ring. I have been able to get it on my finger with my engagement ring for a while now, but I've not been able to wear it for more than a day or so. Well, I put both of them on a couple of days ago, and they are still completely fine. I think they'll be staying on for good now. There is a noticeable change.

2 more days until the final weigh-in for the Challenge. I know that I did not lose 10 lbs, but I am still satisfied with what I accomplished. I know I've lost inches, and that is way more important to me at this point.

A girl here came back from maternity leave today and mentioned that I was looking a lot slimmer through my midsection and face. So once again...not much weight loss, but inches lost for sure.

I am so sore!

I am sick and tired of being sore all the time, and I love being sore all the time. I don't know.

• Sunday - walking for several miles and then running 4 miles (outside)
• Monday - Boot Camp (total body)
• Wednesday - Boot Camp (lower body)
• Thursday - Running on treadmill for 2 miles + some high intensity intervals + Boot Camp (upper body)

I'm exhausted and starving. I know that this is the last week of the Challenge, but I'm just plain beat. I need to rest Friday and Saturday to get ready for a repeat of this week.

Off to eat now. I ate quite well so far today, so I'm hoping that I don't blow it tonight.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Boot Camp (or should I call it booty camp)

Today was lower body, and it was hard but manageable. The best part was when I asked one of my group members to run a quick mile with me after class. We did it in about 10 minutes - not bad for after an intense workout. Killed just over 100 calories (almost enough to take care of those toasted coconut marshmallows before class). We are going to meet up again tomorrow 45 minutes before class to do some more cardio. Tomorrow is upper body.

I'm so excited for one of my friends. She has a bit to lose, but she has been making so many changes in her diet and lifestyle by eating well and walking. Her clothes are fitting better - she is wearing suits that were put away in her closet for a while. She is the one that I'm going to be biking with. It's so good to have this common goal with yet another person.

OK. Off to make my protein shake. Yum! :P

***Edit***

I forgot to blog about my trainer. She's one of those cutesie, blonde, buff, cheerleader types. She mentioned today that she had lost 50 lbs 7 yrs ago. She might weigh 115 now, but she's all muscle. Very inspiring. The funny thing about her story is that she lost it all when she signed up with a personal trainer, and she chose that specific trainer because he was the hottest...didn't care about credentials or anything. It took her a full year to lose it, but here she is 7 yrs later...consumed by Lifetime Fitness. She said today that she is quite the emotional eater. She was living in Hawaii for years before moving back here to take care of her dad after his heart attack 6 months ago. She gained 14 lbs when she came back, but she signed up for boot camp in April and has lost all of it now. It's just kind of cool to be able to relate to someone that looks like they have never struggled with their weight. fyi...her dad has lost 30 lbs since she's been back.

Protein Shake

Just a couple quick thoughts. I ate ok. I didn't go to the gym (still a little sore and tired from the past couple of days). I have boot camp for the next two days anyways. I was just hungry, so I decided to go with Marcol's suggestion on Beck's blog about the snacks under 250 calories. I could easily consume 250 calories on just about anything, but I decided to do something of substance. I don't know if I still made it under the 250 calories, but I feel better. 6 oz milk, fit & trim yogurt (frozen), 1 scoop whey protein. Some berries or a banana would have made it even better. I think I'm going to start having one of these after my workouts from now on.

Tonight I tried on a swimsuit that I've had since before I had kids. It fits. No control panel, but I would say it's OK. Certainly not hot, but ok. This is good enough for now. Good news is that I can still still that thigh definition that I mentioned the other day. Bad news is that my thoughts were still floating between confidence and disgust the whole time. How does this happen? Grrr... I still have a long way to go. No, I'm not posting any pictures.

I am going to start biking soon. That should yield some dramatic improvements to my inner thighs. I remember when I was younger, I used the bike at the gym every day for about 10 - 20 minutes. It only took about a month for me to see huge differences. I'm not expecting the same results as quickly this time, but still. The gym has free spinning classes. Plus, my friend and I are supposed to start riding bikes together on weekends now. I have to get my bike fixed up first, but this should be a good way to incorporate some real physical activity into my daily life. I would like to get to a point where the gym is just a supplement to my active lifestyle. That might be a little difficult year round in Michigan, but I can always try different things.

I'm starting a new earlier schedule at work tomorrow, so I have to get to bed now. Good night!

Quickie Post

It was a good day overall. I got up and ate a breakfast bar along with a cup of coffee (I drink coffee daily in place of snacking usually). I ate half a chicken burrito and rice leftovers for lunch today. The kids had a frozen pizza for dinner tonight, so I heated up a lean cuisine pizza. It was fine and probably a little better than the frozen one. I did eat an ice cream bar at one point today, but I'm sure boot camp helped to burn a little of that off.

Boot camp was a little light tonight in my opinion. I'm not saying it wasn't a good workout, but it wasn't as difficult as the past several Mondays (total body workout). Our instructor is really very good...watches us closely to ensure proper form. She commented on our form tonight saying that we've each improved dramatically since the beginning of the class. I know that I was finding the pushups to be a lot more manageable tonight. We finished on the treadmill tonight. I was jogging at 5.0 mph and carrying on a conversation. I remember when I was so proud of 4.5 mph (not that long ago), and my heart rate was in the 180's. I'm continually amazed at how quickly the body adapts to what you request of it. I'm guessing that 4.5 mph now would only put my HR to about 140 - 150 bpm probably.

That's about it. I'm planning another good eating day tomorrow but no gym. I will probably do some exercises here at home though. I really need to start taking advantage of the bowflex sitting in my basement...maybe after boot camp is done.

Active Day

Today was quite an active day. My sister was still in town, so we took the kids to the Botannical Gardens out in Ann Arbor. Great walk - maybe 2 - 3 miles overall. When we got home, we took the kids to the park down the street. We walked around the park and the wetland area. Maybe another mile or so there.

All that walking got me in the mood for running. My sister left to go home, and I put my running shoes on. I went for my normal 4+ mile route. The first mile was a warmup, and then I tried to time my second mile. This was not going well, so I decided to just walk it out for a few minutes and just time my third mile. This third mile ended up being the best run of my life so far. I timed it at 8 minutes 15 seconds. I've only run outside a handful of times, but this was by far the fastest.

I tried a time run 2 weeks ago, but I was very disappointed that I had only shaved off 1 second from the week before (9 min 30 sec the 1st week). What was the difference this time? Here are some key things that I came up with:

• It was the same route as both timed runs before, but the second run was in the opposite direction. Duh. There is probably some element of slope there. This is probably the most determining factor.
• I was past the 20 minute mark. I think I become much more efficient at this point of an aerobic workout.
• I kept my head down. I think this helped with my breathing.
• I was spitting a lot. Not to be gross or anything, but I have a lot of nasal drainage right now, and I was getting rid of it as needed. This also helped with my breathing.
• I changed up my music. Fatboy Slim is great for endurance, but My Chemical Romance's Famous Last Words is very inspiring to me and I'm pretty sure it has a much higher bpm.
• Longer strides.
• I almost killed myself on the last tenth. My heart rate monitor was screaming at me. When I got done it was at 194. I so felt like puking.
• It was cooler outside today, and I went late in the day.

So I don't know how many of these things actually made a difference, but I feel great about my run nonetheless. We'll see if I can repeat it next week :)

In other news..

We went to a mexican restaurant for dinner tonight (between the gardens and the park). I overdid it on the chips, but I ordered 3 tacos and rice. I ate one taco and about half the rice, and put the rest in a box. I felt good, but not stuffed. I knew I would feel better about myself later if I exercised some self-discipline. Wasn't the healthiest I could have done, but it was better and my walk and run helped to offset it.

Where to start..?

I think I'll begin with Friday. I promise I'll hold off on the compliment quotes for a while...after this. I went to a conference on Friday, and there were a lot of people there that I've worked with in the past. I hadn't seen several of them since around the time that I started blogging here (end of March). While I don't think that I've really lost that much weight, they all seemed kind of shocked at my appearance. They kept talking about how thin and trim I was, and more importantly how happy I looked. Seems that I've lost quite a bit of weight in my face too.

My brother and sister are staying with me this weekend, and there has been a bit of snacking and big meals. I grilled hamburgers, hot dogs, and brats for dinner last night. I also threw some zucchini on the grill and diced up some potatoes and onions and baked them. Everything was good. I couldn't finish my hamburger, but I ended up eating all the leftover zucchini. I feel that I did ok. The bad part was the Chips Ahoy and ice cream. I was afraid to weigh myself this morning, but I did and it wasn't so bad. I didn't lose anything, but I didn't gain either. Still at 137. This seems to be an average low for me. I did have one point where I hit 133 for about 30 seconds, but I haven't been below 135 in forever.

I only went to the gym twice this week, but I did a semi-workout at home yesterday. I'm really determined to work on my upper body right now, although I did some lower body stuff too. It's just so easy to do upper body at home I think. We did something called the crab dip at the gym on Thursday. I've been doing this at home using my fireplace. I think this will do wonders for me. I dropped out of the July push-up Challenge, but I've still been doing them here.

I was giving some thought to the Summer Sizzler Challenge. I'd like to see the challenge continue on a smaller scale. Choose one category every month. Maybe it's a weight loss challenge or maybe it's a certain exercise? Any thoughts? We could rotate who chooses?

Now I have something that I just have to vent about. My sister and I kind of got in a fight this weekend about another one of our sisters that really needs to lose weight. Her husband is also very large (at least 100 - 150 pounds overweight imo). We were looking at pics from last year and I said something like I didn't realize that I was almost the same size as the other sister back then. My thoughts were very positive like whoa, she could totally lose the weight if she just made the simple changes that we have all done. I know it's not that simple of course, but it really was not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be either. Well, my younger sister started "defending" them saying they weren't that big and that they are cute (as if I were attacking them). She then was saying that the husband is just solid (like mostly muscle or something). Oh, I was getting so mad. They are clearly unhealthily overweight. I couldn't believe the lengths this younger sister was going to trying to convince me that they are fine. Then she said something that really pissed me off - that I just look down on everyone that is overweight now that I've lost weight. That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Why do people have to hate? :) I would say that almost all of my friends have weight to lose. I don't look down on any of them. I remember what it was like. It's not been that long. I also know what could happen to me if I gave up.

Pretty much the only emotion I was feeling when talking about my sister and her husband was hope. Honest. I remember when I felt that there was no hope for me, and I was feeling so hopeful for them. I don't care how much they weigh, but there is no way that they are healthy the way they are now. I guess I just kept thinking about Billy's self-limiting beliefs. They could both say, "Well, I've been overweight my whole life, so this is just what I am," or "This body type is just in my genes." Maybe their kids will also have similar things to say in 20 years like, "Everyone in my family is overweight, so why try."

I don't know why this bothered me so much, but I was seriously irritated that someone would accuse me of looking down on overweight people...just because I watch what I eat and exercise. This sister is very young and has never had to worry about her weight yet and doesn't understand what the big deal is I'm sure. I didn't have to worry about it either until I was 21. It's all fast food and fun at that age.

Ok, I guess that's all for now. I really need to get out and run.

Holy Crap Moment of the Day

So yeah, I was looking at my thighs again tonight. This time I was checking out the reflection in the mirror when I totally totally totally saw the definition going all the way up the full length of the muscle. I still have to whittle away at the fat, but this was a big moment for me. I don't think I've ever seen this muscle fully before.

Upper Body Workout

Ok, now I'm really motivated to get my upper body into shape. If I can see some results when I'm not really trying, imagine what I can do if I just focus. Billy's blog about self-limiting beliefs struck a chord with me. Bad arms runs in our family. I've always just accepted that I would have flab, but I think that's just another one of those excuses to not try to make them buff. This is changed - as of now.

Boot camp was an upper body circuit training session. My first round was probably the hardest, but after my muscles warmed up, it was much more bearable. I still struggled, but I feel so good right now. I'm a little sad that our next session isn't until Monday. The good news is that I was supposed to have surgery on Tuesday, and now I'm not going to have it until late August. I'm so glad I get to finish up my 1 month class.

Since I'm talking upper body, I'll mention a funny compliment I got on Saturday night. Someone said that I didn't have armpit fat. While I know that this isn't actually true, it's nice to know that some people don't see it. I've always had an insane fear of sleeveless tops, but I've actually been wearing them this summer. I never realized how much more bearable the heat is when you wear less clothes. In the past, I've always worn long skirts and very covering tops. When I was heavy, I tried to stay with the dark clothing to somewhat camouflage the fat. In fact, I've always dreaded summer, because I had to give up sweaters. Everything is different this year. No, I'm not dressing like a hoochie mama, but I am trying new styles of clothes for the first time in almost forever.

Hmmm...I think that's about all for tonight.

Finishing my thought from yesterday

I swear I'm so ADD. My friend, Mickey, always teases me about this by saying, "Oooh...shiny thing!" Funny girl.

Anyways, I was talking about the definition of my thighs yesterday, and I really did have a point to it besides admiring myself. I was going to say that when I was feeling down in the dumps yesterday, I looked down at my thighs and totally remembered what I've accomplished so far and where I want to be. It really got me motivated to work hard. I also forgot to mention that I'm really starting to see and feel more definition the whole length of my thighs - all the way up to my hip adductors (if that's the right term). I don't ever remember a time in my life that I've noticed this, so I think it's the running. Exciting stuff.

Today, I feel like running. I haven't really had this urge for about a week. Hopefully it's a sign that I'm getting less sick. I woke up feeling fine today. We'll see what happens this afternoon. I have boot camp tonight, but I want to go up there early to run a few fast miles on the treadmill first.

I think my arms are toning up a little too. I don't know if it's the boot camp or the random toning exercises I've done here and there, but I swear there's a difference lately. I still have a very long way to go, but it's nice to see some change when I don't feel like it's been a focus of mine. I was reading online last night about pecs. I read that toning and building them up helps with perkiness. Have any of you girls noticed any improvements in this area? I know you guys girls do more strength training than I do. I know I've seen improvements, but I think it's more that my breasts are a little smaller now (in a good, less fatty way).

Ok, lots of work to do today. Lata...

***Edit***

I was just talking to Mickey, and she said the absolute coolest thing. Background: not long ago (maybe a week or two), we were discussing arms and toning. Her arms were looking kind of toned, and she said that just about every day for the past few months, she's been just doing maybe 5 minutes of arm exercises. This encouraged me to start doing little things too. Fast forward to today: I mentioned that I was feeling more toned in the arm area, and she jumped in right away and said that she noticed it too. We were both surprised, because it seems like we were just talking about it like a week ago. It was just way cool, because it usually takes a while for others to notice things - and this is someone that sees me almost every day. It's also nice to know that I'm not imagining changes that aren't really happening. Now I feel super pumped about my upper body workout tonight. I might cry, but I want the results fa real now.

Back in Business?

I think I have a full-blown sinus infection. I was feeling better yesterday, but not today. It was horrible this afternoon especially. I was contemplating not going to the gym again, but I haven't been since last Thursday, and the kids looked soooo disappointed when I asked if they wouldn't mind too terribly if we stayed home. They really are a great motivator for this. I ended up taking a DayQuil and going.

I was running about 10 minutes late to Boot Camp, but I got there just in time for the real workout (after the warm-up stuff). For some reason, she switched lower body day with upper body day, so we were doing lower body again...my fave, of course. I must say that I marvel daily at the definition of my thighs. They just naturally look somewhat toned now - even when I'm just standing there in my workout pants. This is pretty much exactly the look that I was going for when I started back at the gym. How cool is that? Trust me...I still have a long way to go until I achieve my ideal body, but this is a great place to start...to have 1 area on my body that I like is a good thing.

At the end of the workout, the trainer had us do a couple of high intensity intervals. It was a lot of fun in a group...the competition was good. I must say that me and the other girl kept up with the boys just fine. Lori did 7.8 on her first minute, so I did 8.0. I only did 7.5 on my second one though. The guy next to me only did 7.5 on both of his. HA! Not that I'm looking down on 7.5 really, but it feels really really cool that I am totally at the same level as the guys in the group - in the other activities too. One of the guys did go 9.6 for his intervals, but he's like 6'5" tall or something.

Anyways, that's about all for tonight. Early bedtime for me.

I think it's been awhile since my last post...

I've been going through a lot of emotional crap this past week, but I have to say that I've actually handled it quite well in terms of eating. I have not been pristine, but I have certainly been worse.

My husband had a couple of vacation days this week, so I've skipped the gym. This is bad, but I think it was good for my marriage, ya know? I'll be going tomorrow night for sure. Plus, I've still been sick. I'm probably about 80% better now, which is a huge improvement from the weekend.

We're having some money issues, but my husband totally agreed that the gym was something that was good to keep in our budget. I even offered to go to the lower priced gym, but we both agreed that I'd be less likely to go to that one, so it's not worth the change-up.

Anyways, I think my stress level has gotten a lot better in the past couple of days, so I'm happier.

There have been some really great blogs this week, and I might try to go comment on some of them tomorrow, but right now I am just trying to focus on taking care of business. I'll still be around though :)

100th Post!

Ok, so it's not really that big a deal.

Nothing much to say except that my sinus' are killing me. I went out dancing last night and I weighed in at 137 this morning. I feel a little dehydrated, so I'll be drinking a ton of water today.

I hate when I have nothing to say.

Oh, I do have a cool compliment thing. My friend was over yesterday, and she said that I was looking very athletic. Yay! Ultimate compliment right now.

More random ramblings...

My post this morning was supposed to be rambling, but I got inspired, so now I ramble...

My diet has been much much better for Week 2 of the Challenge. I did really kind of screw up tonight, but I was so good for the first part of the day that I think it will pretty much balance out.

I had boot camp tonight, and I stayed an extra 40 minutes for cardio. I was finding it difficult to get my heart rate up. My heart must be becoming more efficient. I tried to crank up the resistance, but I don't think my heart was in it since I was going on like 1.5 hrs of workout. I decided to just move with the music and be happy that I was still in Zone 3 (average HR around 170). I still felt very good.

TOM showed up today. This is exciting, because I didn't want it to happen on Saturday. Hopefully all the bad symptoms will be gone by then. I'm getting worried that I won't be able to go out though. Seems that I'm not the only sick one. My sitter is also not feeling well, and I don't want to search another one out. Maybe my husband will stay home with the kids, so that I can go. I don't really want to wear my fancy new dress without him though :( I hope it all works out. This is going to be a really good party. Oh well, I'll still have friends over tomorrow night I think. Twill be lots and lots of fun.

Cool compliment time:

My old manager was working downtown today on my floor, and she told me that a man that we work with came up to her recently and asked her if she'd seen me lately. He said something like: She has lost a lot of weight and then something about stopping traffic. *blush*

Isn't that the sweetest thing :)

That's about it for tonight. I'm hitting the showers and then watching the results from So You Think You Can Dance. Btw...that show is very inspirational for me. I want a dancer's body now. They are lean but firm. No sissy girls out there. Maybe after I lose more weight, I'll take some dancing classes. Ok, I'm kidding. I am sooooo not that coordinated. I mean, I could barely do Tae Bo.

Ok, good night.

Random Ramblings

We have a lot of newer people out there right now, and I just had some thoughts.

1. It's ok to screw up and have a bad day. I mean, ideally, you'd like to have all good days, but the bad days will happen. The most important thing is to look at the big picture of where you want to end up and get back on track the next day. In past weight loss attempts, I'd lose a few pounds, then have a bad day. That bad day would turn into a bad weekend, then week, then month. Ugh. Then six months later, I'd try it again. This past year, I changed that and started looking at each day as one page in my book. It helped me get through the bad times.
2. Blog - even on your bad days. We are all here to support you. I've had my butt kicked many times over by these guys, but I'm grateful for it. It's helped me to not back track as much as I might have in the past.
3. Start small if you need to. I know that if I would have tried to eat and exercise like I do now back in the beginning, I would have quit after 3 days (if that). I started out by just trying to add healthy things into my awful diet. After I got used to that, then I took out a couple bad things. I started by walking around a couple of blocks during my lunch. I didn't start any real exercise program for several months. I'm not saying to not exercise...just don't get frustrated and quit. If it's too much, then slow down until your mind and body adjust to the changes.
4. Cut down on the empty carbs. This was probably the most difficult thing for me to do. I love my comfort foods, but I started at least trying to limit the carb consumption in every meal. Have the burger with the bun, but skip the fries. Eat the mashed potatoes, but skip the bread bowl. Pick one and that's it.
5. Lower your expectations. In the past, I'd set unreasonable goals like losing 20 pounds in 2 months. Yes, this is very achievable in itself, but I would have had to turn into a different person to achieve this. Once I relaxed my expectations, it was easier for me to just concentrate on getting healthy. That being said...
6. Set reasonable goals. All of my goals were tied to when I'd see my brother next. It might sound weird, but the lengths of time were perfect for me. I always had that deadline in the back of my head and I'd crank up the intensity just a little bit for the couple of weeks prior. I never failed a deadline. These goals were like 10 or 15 pound goals.
7. Play the bad/better game. If I must cheat, I try to do something better than the worst thing. I still eat some fast food, and I'll have the fried chicken sandwich, but I will not also eat the fries. If I must have both, then I'll get a kids meal. Get the junior bacon cheese instead of the big bacon classic. Sure, it's not ideal, but I still get a taste of what I want, and it's not nearly as bad as I used to do - all the time.
8. Replace food with fun. I have been doing a lot more with my friends in the past year...mostly things that don't involve eating. We go out dancing or just hang out and enjoy each others' company. I swear that going out at least every other week or so has helped me to stay focused. I don't want to go out on Saturday night feeling all bloated from a bad week of eating.

Ok. These might sound obvious, but they were what made the difference for me.

Calories and such...

I continued to log my food today, and I am finding that I'm eating a lot more than usual. Most of it is better. I feel like I'm constantly eating though. The calories add up nicely, so I guess that's all a good thing. It's funny how much you can eat when you're making good choices.

I am sick (sinus, cold, etc...). I thought I just needed some water last night, but I woke up feeling just as bad. It's so irritating. I called into work, but when I checked my voicemails, I had a lot of things that couldn't wait for my return, so I ended up working for like 7 hrs from home. This is fine, but I was looking forward to dozing on the couch all day and watching movies.

I didn't exercise today, but I have boot camp for the next two days. I hope I'm feeling better by then.

Ok, I know this sounded way whiney. Sorry. I'm going to bed.

I'm Giving In...

I created a http://www.calorie-count.com/ account yesterday and have been logging my food. We'll see how long this lasts. It did help me to control my food yesterday and today. I went grocery shopping yesterday, and I bought a lot more fruit than usual. I also got other different kinds of healthier snacks like string cheese and almonds. True to form, I couldn't resist the snacks that were sitting next to me all morning at work, but I ate them all and no more. I guess this is a good thing. I even ate the lunch I brought and then went to Bellacino's and watched my friend eat pizza. I barely noticed the pizza - seriously.

I got home from work, ate some cottage cheese, and then hit the gym for boot camp. This was my third sesssion, and I still have this week, next week, and the following Monday left. The pushups were a little easier today (I could actually do some girly ones). I am really beat though. Tomorrow will be an off day for me. I really need the rest. I think my legs will love me for it.

Ok, I'm famished. Time for dinner. Then hopefully an early bedtime :P

So here's the deal...

I kinda lost control of my eating on Friday. There was a lot of good food at my parents' house, and I gave in. I did feel bad enough to make myself go for a 2 mile run after dinner. I think someone was irritated that I did this, but I cannot let others' negativity control my actions.

My binge probably wasn't as bad as I've done in the past, but I was supposed to be focused this week. I failed myself and my team, but I guess this is a new week and I must dust myself off and regroup. I did do a lot better yesterday. My eating was in control, but I didn't exercise. It's ok, since I either worked out or ran 5 days this week. Some days I did multiple things. I'm really into the whole stability ball thing right now - with hand weights. I figure if I'm just sitting there watching a movie, I might as well be moving my arms and legs.

I need to get my upper body in shape by Saturday, because I picked up my new chocolate dress today. The dress is just as nice as I remember it too. Ok, I know that my upper body won't be perfect by then, but I can do my best to improve it.

I got up this morning and walked/jogged/ran 4 miles - probably ran 3 of them (HR 180- 187). I'm not trying to make excuses here (ok, maybe a little), but I only shaved off 1 second from last week's time. First excuse: it was freakin hot and humid out. Second: my boobs hurt in anticipation of TOM. Third: I was running into the wind (when there was any). Fourth: I was carrying a water bottle, which could have slowed me down slightly. I'm glad I brought it though. Whoo - hot hot hot!!! I might have passed out without it. Maybe next week will be cooler and I'll be able to test out whether or not I improved on my time. Not that anyone really wants to see this, but here's proof that I sweat:

My clothes were completely drenched when I removed them. In a way, I felt so good that I was running and sweating my ass off out in this heat. I felt tough and focused. Athletes don't give up just because of a little heat, do they?

My eating has been good today so far. I drank a half-gallon of water after my run. I think Rebecca was right about 16 oz per every 15 minutes of exercise. I seriously needed to rehydrate.

What else? hmmm....I guess that's all for now, although I swear I had a lot more things to say. I'll have to post them all later as they come to me.

Oh, I just remembered one thing. It's not really a big deal, but...

I was going to the store last night, and my 4 yr old said something like: "She's probably going to the gym." I just think it's cool that she thinks that's the most likely place I'd be going. She also says things all the time like, "Are you going for a run today?"

I so want to be Athletic Mom.

Ok. Lata...

Been a couple of days since my last post...

I've been fine - a little snacky though. This might be due to my increased amount of exercise? I need to plan meals and snacks better and smarter probably. Of course there was also a bit of drinking over the past couple of days.

My eating and snacking was a lot better today. I was doing quite well until after my workout (I had my second boot camp class today). I knew I needed some protein, but I was on the road to my parents' house. I stopped at Taco Bell to get something with beans, but then I saw this new grilled chicken thing. I ordered 2, because they looked kinda healthy. I didn't realize that each 1 was 2 pieces though, and unfortunately I ate all of it when I would have been fine with just the 1 order. My parents had cake and ice cream tonight for a bday, and I skipped the cake and had one small scoop of ice cream. So far so good I guess.

Boot camp was nice tonight (lower body focus). I did well - I'm much more concerned about upper body workout day. Oh, speaking of upper body workouts. I've been using my stability ball and small weights while watching tv this week. I'm sure that I'll see some results over time. It really is nice to have this huge ball as a constant reminder of what I could be doing exercise-wise. My husband was even testing it out last night, and I was showing him some moves...kind of a fun moment.

I'm at my parents' until Saturday, so I am going to put on my running shoes tomorrow morning and hit the streets. It's really a good feeling to know that I'm not restricted to using a gym to workout - and that I'm not thinking it's an option to skip a workout because of the lack of a gym. There is a high school down the street. Maybe I'll run over there and use their track.

Now I Feel Like a Runner

I got up this morning and had a sound breakfast (egg on a whole wheat english muffin & a latte), then I put on my running shoes and took to the open road. I had decided yesterday to walk/jog to my starting point for my timed mile, and that's what I did. I did take a brief detour at Flodin Park across the street, where evidently they have a 1/3 mile path - who knew??? :) Ok, that's just a little embarrassing that I didn't know about it. The park is right down the street from me, and I've never walked around it??? Ridiculous. The only problem is that it's really scary back there (tall brush, no people, and out of sight from the park). I did 1/3 mile and got the hell out of there, but I continued on to my mile starting point. Did that mile and back. Unfortunately, my time was more than Sunday's time (9:37), but I was practicing pacing myself. I will do better next time. Good news is that I went a total of 4.5 miles today - mostly running with maybe half a mile at a brisk walk (right in the middle). I mean I did not stop at all during my run times. I attribute this to my Fatboy Slim set.

Later today, I drove around and mapped out a route for myself for my next run. It's just over 5 miles. I really think that I'm liking the real running thing. There is no option to not finish, because you have to get home. Does anyone have any ideas on carrying water? I could have used some today and Sunday, but I don't want to be weighted down with it.

I had a lunch meeting today, and I got a chicken caesar salad. mmm... I got home a few minutes ago and had a nectarine. I plan on having a light dinner w/salad and a snack later. I like this working out in the morning thing. Now I have the rest of the day to do whatever it is that I do (read blogs?).

I feel good...

I fell asleep at 8 pm last night and felt wonderful this morning at 6 am. I usually struggle to get out of bed at 7, so this was a nice change. I got myself ready for work and had time to pack a lunch. It might not have been the lowest fat lunch, but it is still better than a lot of other things I could have had. I did not have any breakfast bars, so I made some Quaker Weight Smart Oatmeal. I don't love the stuff, but it did fill me up. I even packed some snacks for today (banana and nectarine). So I ate my oatmeal for breakfast, banana for snack 1, hamburger on a bun and a salad for lunch, nectarine for snack 2, and a protein shake after my workout.

So my workout was interesting today. Last week I ran into a girl that was in my small personal training group. She had been doing the Boot Camp class, and she told me how much cheaper it was than the personal training. I went up there tonight for my first session, and I have to say it's just about the same as the personal training - only at about half the price and more sessions per week. So, until my surgery, I will be going to Boot Camp 3 times per week. Sucks that I had to pay a whole month even though I'll only be able to participate for about 3 weeks. That's ok. I needed something new to mix it up. I'll still be running too - probably on my off days. I plan on working out at least 5 - 6 days a week for all of July.

I was told by another personal trainer that I probably wasn't ready for Boot Camp, but I hung tough (even the trainer called me tough - ha!). Sure I was pushed to pain and breathlessness, but overall I did absolutely fine - especially for my first session. I'm worried about Wednesdays though, because that's the upper body workout session. Mondays are total body & Thursdays are lower body. We are missing Wednesday of this week for the holiday, so hopefully she goes with lower body still on Thursday. I say this, but I know that my upper body is my weakness, so I should be begging for upper body workouts.

Ok, I just have to say once again how excited I am about this Challenge. It's exactly what I've needed to help me focus again and take me to the next level. I can't wait for my run tomorrow!

Goal for tonight and tomorrow: Go to bed early and keep with the small snacks

***Edit***

I just ate a hot dog. I think my calories were still fine for the day, but damn it, that's what I get for staying up late again. Ok, now I just looked up and saw my "go to bed early" goal. Bad Girl!

My first real outside run

So for the challenge I really want to do an actual 1 mile outside run. Someone told me about a mile stretch here in Canton. I drove it and it really is a mile.

I think I messed up a little by not warming up like I should have, but I didn't want to start over, so I just went for it. I have never done this before, so I had no idea what to expect. I started out as fast as possible, but I quickly realized that I would die at that speed for an entire mile. I had to stop to walk for a little bit. This pattern continued for almost the whole mile. I still managed to finish my mile in 9:30. I'm impressed. I was just going to walk the mile back to my car, but after a short bit, I picked up the pace and jogged/ran at a more steady pace than the first mile. I didn't have to stop at all when I was doing this.

On my way home, I realized that I hadn't used my ipod. This might have helped to keep me focused. Oh well.

Here's my strategy. I will be going to the gym for HIIT on the treadmill during the week. Every Sunday I will run the same 2 mile stretch I did today. I will first walk/jog the first mile, and then I will time the return mile.

Lesson learned: pace myself better

Shopping again...

My dress purchase from Friday night inspired me to run to Kohl's to see what kind of cute sundresses they had. I immediately hit the juniors' section and picked up like 10 dresses. All but one fit me (stupid M on a L hanger). I would say that only 2 out of the rest didn't look great on me. I am trying to be conservative with my buys since I keep getting smaller and having to buy more smaller clothes. Btw...I think L's in juniors is like M's in petites or misses. Anyways, I decided to just buy a cute black and white polka dotted thing. Ok, I don't usually love polka dots, but they are kinda cute on a summer dress :) The other thing about the dress is that it has spaghetti straps. It feels so good to be able to branch out and change up my wardrobe.

I then hit the denim section and picked up a few skirts. I only picked up 8's and 9's, and they all fit (some might even have been a little loose). I ended up getting 2 denim skirts. One was cute and flirty along the hem. The other was a few inches above my knee - where I am really starting to see some definition.

It's funny how different we all are as people. There are a lot of girls that don't care how big they are when they decide what to wear. They seem to think if it comes in their size that they should wear it. I think I'm the total opposite. I am so very careful to only find the things that best compliment my figure. In fact, I've recently decided that I've been overly careful. This is why I'm just now buying dresses. I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I have hips and they will always be there - maybe smaller or bigger, but still there. It's ok if my hips can be seen while wearing a dress. It's a good thing even? I know this might all sound crazy. I just think that I've started entering the "inner fat" stage. Like we've talked about before...I've always been surprised when I saw pictures of myself (by how huge I looked in comparison to how I felt). Now the pictures are starting to have the opposite effect. I keep looking at them thinking...is that really me??? Only now it's because I am smaller than I think. I had the same feeling when I was trying on dresses this weekend. I cannot believe that is my reflection in the mirror. This feeling makes me stand taller and walk with confidence. I look forward to exercise now to see what else I can accomplish.

Today is the first day of the Challenge. My weigh-in was right about where it should be probably - 140. I am really going to attempt to stay focused throughout this month. It would be so cool if I can end July at 130. I think that I'm going to run my 1 mile in the real world (down the street). This way I'll not be limiting myself to whatever I set on the treadmill. I will still train on the treadmill throughout the week, but I will be running my test mile every Sunday on the streets of Canton.

I am also going to try to go to the gym at least 5 times per week...aiming for 6. I should also probably forsake alcohol for July, but I'm afraid that I'll just start snacking more.

Ok. Off to go running now!!!!!