Yes, my friends. I've seen 135 two days in a row now (yesterday afternoon and this morning). I will give it another day before officially claiming that number, but now that I've seen it, it's ON. I will even go so far as to say that the scale was flirting with 134. I feel incredibly focused right now. Maybe it's just easier to focus on that vs other more stressful things.
I measured my waist this morning too, and it was under 29 inches. Yay! I think it was 30 inches at the end of April. Great progress.
That's about all I have to say for now. It's enough really.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Blogging is Good
This morning I was at 137. Hopefully it will be less tomorrow, but I am taking a step back today to reflect. When I started this blog two months ago, I was 147. I've lost 10 pounds and I've dropped a full size since then. This is actually really excellent progress so late in the game for me. I technically only have 7 pounds to go before I am officially of normal weight. I can't expect this all to just melt off. Plus, I started working out on April 4th, and I'm still doing it. I see huge differences in my tone, and as far as I can remember, I've never in my life been this fit aerobically. Why am I so freaked out about 137? I never in my wildest dreams thought that I could ever be at this weight again, yet here I am. If I can do 137, then I can do 120...but what's the rush? It might just take some time. I'm happy. I no longer feel self-conscious in public or embarrassed to see people from my past. I can go into just about any store and buy clothes.
I'm 32 with 4 kids, and I look great. What more could I ask for? Well, I want my arms to be toned. I want my love handles gone. I want my stomach to lose the pooch altogether. I want a 26 inch waist. I want to be able to really run for a long time. I want to wear a size 4. I want to be able to buy small tops. I want to wear a swimsuit out in public. I want a boob job (nothing crazy). I want to be 5'9" (I can dream, can't I?)
Oh, yeah, back to my title. Blogging is Good. Without this blog, I wouldn't have been able to go back and check out my progress like I was able to today. Sure I could have journaled, but I would have lost it at least 50 times by now. It was so easy to go back and look at where I've been for the past year and realize that I have absolutely nothing to feel discouraged about. Also, I have the best support system here. Where else can you find so many other people that actually want to hear about your progress. Most people in life don't mind talking about it here and there, but either they get depressed about their own weight or they just lack interest after a while. I know that I've said this before, but I really do love you guys. I pretty much know that I would not be working out right now if it weren't for your examples and your constant encouragement. It's obviously also extremely encouraging to be able to follow you all on your journeys too.
Ok, seriously. I cannot get The Greatest American Hero song out of my head right now. You're welcome... to everyone who gets it stuck in their head too...
I'm 32 with 4 kids, and I look great. What more could I ask for? Well, I want my arms to be toned. I want my love handles gone. I want my stomach to lose the pooch altogether. I want a 26 inch waist. I want to be able to really run for a long time. I want to wear a size 4. I want to be able to buy small tops. I want to wear a swimsuit out in public. I want a boob job (nothing crazy). I want to be 5'9" (I can dream, can't I?)
Oh, yeah, back to my title. Blogging is Good. Without this blog, I wouldn't have been able to go back and check out my progress like I was able to today. Sure I could have journaled, but I would have lost it at least 50 times by now. It was so easy to go back and look at where I've been for the past year and realize that I have absolutely nothing to feel discouraged about. Also, I have the best support system here. Where else can you find so many other people that actually want to hear about your progress. Most people in life don't mind talking about it here and there, but either they get depressed about their own weight or they just lack interest after a while. I know that I've said this before, but I really do love you guys. I pretty much know that I would not be working out right now if it weren't for your examples and your constant encouragement. It's obviously also extremely encouraging to be able to follow you all on your journeys too.
Ok, seriously. I cannot get The Greatest American Hero song out of my head right now. You're welcome... to everyone who gets it stuck in their head too...
Believe it or not, I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free-.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.
Sorry, it's how I feel today :)
Does anyone have any suggestions on getting rid of love handles and baby belly? My torso is so short, and while I love my hips, the curve to my waist is kind of abrupt. It always has been I guess, but I'd like it to be smoother if possible.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
DEMF...conclusion
DEMF day 2 was pretty fun. I was pretty tired, but we got out there @ about 4 pm I think. We danced, but not nearly as much as the first day. We spent more time outside hanging out, and I got to know a few people a little better. My husband and I took off for a little bit to go grab something to eat from Greektown. We went to Niki's and I got a Chicken Greek Salad. I did finish most of it, because I wanted to stay energized. We went back to demf for the final set and then hit an afterparty. My back was really sore by this point, so I only danced for a few minutes (I wasn't the only one with a sore back). It was kind of nice to get home by 3 am anyways.
Monday morning, we woke up to bad news. I'm not going to go into details here, but we never made it out to demf. We planned on eventually getting out there, but it was just not possible. I was pretty much a big baby about it inside my head, and I felt bad for it, but I was disappointed to not be able to end the weekend out like I'd envisioned for an entire year. I know that I was wrong and self-centered, but it's how I was. My husband wanted to go do something else, like go grab a bite to eat. I did not feel good about that, because I wasn't hungry. I seriously felt that it was replacing fun with food or emotional eating...take your pick. I didn't want either, and I wasn't very good company.
Of course, I woke up this morning and felt incredibly guilty. I am on the right track now.
I got the kids from my parent's house, and then we spent the day together as a family. This is always nice. We went to Friday's for lunch, and I just got the low-fat potstickers appetizer. It was good, and I felt good for not giving in to the delicious menu at my favorite chain restaurant. We had some other things to do, and on our way home, my husband stopped to get some ice cream for the kids. I didn't get any. The store was right next to a pizza place, and my husband decided to get some pizza. I really was not hungry, so I wasn't going to eat any pizza. I usually give in eventually though. Not this time. I went to go weigh myself, and I was disappointed in the number...hovering around 138. I really expected to lose a couple of pounds this weekend, but I didn't. My clothing size numbers are good though, so I am not too depressed about the scale number. Oh, anyways...after seeing the not-beautiful number on the scale, I for sure did not eat any pizza. I really would like a recount - in the morning. I'm thinking that weighing myself when I'm feeling tempted to cheat will help me not to. If the number is good, I'll want it to continue. If it's bad, it should scare me into not cheating. I don't know...
A small item to note here. I showered this morning and then wrapped myself in a bath towel. I walked to my room and realized that the towel was all the way around me. For a very long time, I would have had to have been very careful as to who was around if I wanted to walk anywhere in the towel - so as not to scar anyone for life. Now, a normal-sized bath towel covers me completely. Such a simple thing, but so very convenient and normal feeling.
Tomorrow will be another day like today probably. I'll be around, but things are a little crazy right now. Hope to get to the gym tomorrow. I haven't been since last Thursday, but I know that I've gotten in a lot of exercise, so I'm not worried about that.
Finally, I saw my sister in law today - for the first time in about 3 months. She immediately said she loved my hair. Then she said...You look good. Then she said....You look really good. These comments never get old. I will keep writing about them as I receive them, because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want :)
Monday morning, we woke up to bad news. I'm not going to go into details here, but we never made it out to demf. We planned on eventually getting out there, but it was just not possible. I was pretty much a big baby about it inside my head, and I felt bad for it, but I was disappointed to not be able to end the weekend out like I'd envisioned for an entire year. I know that I was wrong and self-centered, but it's how I was. My husband wanted to go do something else, like go grab a bite to eat. I did not feel good about that, because I wasn't hungry. I seriously felt that it was replacing fun with food or emotional eating...take your pick. I didn't want either, and I wasn't very good company.
Of course, I woke up this morning and felt incredibly guilty. I am on the right track now.
I got the kids from my parent's house, and then we spent the day together as a family. This is always nice. We went to Friday's for lunch, and I just got the low-fat potstickers appetizer. It was good, and I felt good for not giving in to the delicious menu at my favorite chain restaurant. We had some other things to do, and on our way home, my husband stopped to get some ice cream for the kids. I didn't get any. The store was right next to a pizza place, and my husband decided to get some pizza. I really was not hungry, so I wasn't going to eat any pizza. I usually give in eventually though. Not this time. I went to go weigh myself, and I was disappointed in the number...hovering around 138. I really expected to lose a couple of pounds this weekend, but I didn't. My clothing size numbers are good though, so I am not too depressed about the scale number. Oh, anyways...after seeing the not-beautiful number on the scale, I for sure did not eat any pizza. I really would like a recount - in the morning. I'm thinking that weighing myself when I'm feeling tempted to cheat will help me not to. If the number is good, I'll want it to continue. If it's bad, it should scare me into not cheating. I don't know...
A small item to note here. I showered this morning and then wrapped myself in a bath towel. I walked to my room and realized that the towel was all the way around me. For a very long time, I would have had to have been very careful as to who was around if I wanted to walk anywhere in the towel - so as not to scar anyone for life. Now, a normal-sized bath towel covers me completely. Such a simple thing, but so very convenient and normal feeling.
Tomorrow will be another day like today probably. I'll be around, but things are a little crazy right now. Hope to get to the gym tomorrow. I haven't been since last Thursday, but I know that I've gotten in a lot of exercise, so I'm not worried about that.
Finally, I saw my sister in law today - for the first time in about 3 months. She immediately said she loved my hair. Then she said...You look good. Then she said....You look really good. These comments never get old. I will keep writing about them as I receive them, because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want :)
Oh, one more finally...here's a pic of me, Jenn, and Troy:
Next year's major goal: Tone up arms.
Here's a pic just for Kirsten:
Sunday, May 27, 2007
DEMF day 1
Yesterday, I went to Express to get some shorts or crop pants. I didn't see what I was looking for right away, so I just grabbed a couple pairs of jeans to try on... sizes 8 & 10. I started with the 8, and to my surprise, they looked hot. Seriously now. Don't you just love these moments. I'll be honest. I thought the pair that Kirsten gave me must be large 8's, but now I'm not so sure.
The girl that was helping me asked if I was looking for anything else, and I told her. She asked what size, and I said...I don't know...8 or 10??? And she looked at me and said...Well, you look like an 8 to me. Um. Hello!!!!! Great moment there. She got me some 8's, and if I must say so myself, they looked pretty fabulous. Unfortunately, they weren't on sale, but I really didn't care. I bought a couple and wore one pair yesterday. I felt so good all day long. My love handles were not even hanging over the top at all. My good eating this week has really paid off in the belly area. Eating junk makes the stomach bloated, and I am happy to say that my stomach was under control yesterday.
Demf was so much fun yesterday. Had fun with all my friends and made a lot more new friends. Danced for I would say a minimum of 12 hours. My calves were a little bit sore by around midnight, but we ended up leaving the afterparty at 4 am. I think that the elliptical prepared me a lot for this weekend.
I woke up this morning...er afternoon, and immediately noticed less of a tummy. Yay! Still weighed in at 137, but it was solidly on there. This is good. Life is good. Off to demf day 2 now...
Oh, one more thing. I'm not going to go crazy buying 8's this time. I'm going to hold out for the lovely number 6 I think. I have never worn 6 as an adult (except for about 5 minutes when I was 18 - if you consider that an adult). I don't see what's stopping me now.
Back to the party now...
The girl that was helping me asked if I was looking for anything else, and I told her. She asked what size, and I said...I don't know...8 or 10??? And she looked at me and said...Well, you look like an 8 to me. Um. Hello!!!!! Great moment there. She got me some 8's, and if I must say so myself, they looked pretty fabulous. Unfortunately, they weren't on sale, but I really didn't care. I bought a couple and wore one pair yesterday. I felt so good all day long. My love handles were not even hanging over the top at all. My good eating this week has really paid off in the belly area. Eating junk makes the stomach bloated, and I am happy to say that my stomach was under control yesterday.
Demf was so much fun yesterday. Had fun with all my friends and made a lot more new friends. Danced for I would say a minimum of 12 hours. My calves were a little bit sore by around midnight, but we ended up leaving the afterparty at 4 am. I think that the elliptical prepared me a lot for this weekend.
I woke up this morning...er afternoon, and immediately noticed less of a tummy. Yay! Still weighed in at 137, but it was solidly on there. This is good. Life is good. Off to demf day 2 now...
Oh, one more thing. I'm not going to go crazy buying 8's this time. I'm going to hold out for the lovely number 6 I think. I have never worn 6 as an adult (except for about 5 minutes when I was 18 - if you consider that an adult). I don't see what's stopping me now.
Back to the party now...
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Just Checkin' In
I had a great day yesterday. Didn't eat much since I wanted to be thin for today :)
Had eggs and a corn tortilla for brunch. Some kind of energy bar for dinner. 3 tortilla cheese dipped in con queso. 2 cocktails which I promptly threw up. Is this because I didn't have enough in my stomach? Either way. I weighed in at 137 this morning. A week of buckeling down brought me right back to where I was. Now I can build on that. I'm going to be so thrilled if I lose 2 more pounds over demf.
I looked hot yesterday in some sz 8 Lucky's that Kirsten gave me. I found this awesome black tee that was quite flattering on me. I got my mani-pedi and wore the cutest flip-flops. My red hair is fun. I haven't gone clothes shopping quite yet...hoping to leave in a few minutes.
I saw someone last night that I haven't seen in a couple of months, and he was in awe. I've only lost maybe 5 pounds since then, but I've been working out. The jeans don't lie - smaller and smaller we go.
It's raining, but I don't give a f**k. It's demf! TODAY!
Had eggs and a corn tortilla for brunch. Some kind of energy bar for dinner. 3 tortilla cheese dipped in con queso. 2 cocktails which I promptly threw up. Is this because I didn't have enough in my stomach? Either way. I weighed in at 137 this morning. A week of buckeling down brought me right back to where I was. Now I can build on that. I'm going to be so thrilled if I lose 2 more pounds over demf.
I looked hot yesterday in some sz 8 Lucky's that Kirsten gave me. I found this awesome black tee that was quite flattering on me. I got my mani-pedi and wore the cutest flip-flops. My red hair is fun. I haven't gone clothes shopping quite yet...hoping to leave in a few minutes.
I saw someone last night that I haven't seen in a couple of months, and he was in awe. I've only lost maybe 5 pounds since then, but I've been working out. The jeans don't lie - smaller and smaller we go.
It's raining, but I don't give a f**k. It's demf! TODAY!
Inspirational Quote
I picked this up from a myspace blog today:
keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words,
keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior,
keep your behavior positive, because your behavior becomes your habits,
keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values,
and keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.
- mahatma gandhi
keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words,
keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior,
keep your behavior positive, because your behavior becomes your habits,
keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values,
and keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.
- mahatma gandhi
Friday, May 25, 2007
Short entry...I think
I just quickly wanted to say that I weighed in at 139 this morning. phew. I know i'll be good today and over the weekend. Wouldn't it be so cool if I lost weight at the festival? I will be dancing pretty much the whole time - well, probably at least 12 hours every day for three days.
And for the hair freaks out there...
Jenn put some pretty intense red in my hair last week, but it was fading out by the second. I don't know why, because we go red at least 2 or 3 times a year. This time she gave me this Matrix product that is a semi-permanent color, and I ran it through my hair last night. The red is so back, and it looks so awesome. It says it'll last 8 - 10 washes. We'll see about that.
And for the hair freaks out there...
Jenn put some pretty intense red in my hair last week, but it was fading out by the second. I don't know why, because we go red at least 2 or 3 times a year. This time she gave me this Matrix product that is a semi-permanent color, and I ran it through my hair last night. The red is so back, and it looks so awesome. It says it'll last 8 - 10 washes. We'll see about that.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
2 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, I can see demf from my office - at least the setup part of it. I get butterflies just thinking about it.
That's really about all I have to say. I had oatmeal for breakfast, lean cuisine for lunch, two corn tortillas w/cheese for dinner - and a handful of kashi cereal. It was kind of a carb-heavy day I guess, but it's been low in calories. I do feel much thinner through my abdomen area today.
Things to do still: buy new handbag, cargo type shorts, lingerie, sunglasses...run color through hair, mani-pedi, salt scrub....send kids away.
Jason Maxiell is really rocking it out tonight...
Another cool thing. I got all my important work semi-caught up today, so I am taking Friday and Tuesday off of work. Yay! I love 5 day weekends.
That's really about all I have to say. I had oatmeal for breakfast, lean cuisine for lunch, two corn tortillas w/cheese for dinner - and a handful of kashi cereal. It was kind of a carb-heavy day I guess, but it's been low in calories. I do feel much thinner through my abdomen area today.
Things to do still: buy new handbag, cargo type shorts, lingerie, sunglasses...run color through hair, mani-pedi, salt scrub....send kids away.
Jason Maxiell is really rocking it out tonight...
Another cool thing. I got all my important work semi-caught up today, so I am taking Friday and Tuesday off of work. Yay! I love 5 day weekends.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Interval Training?
I tried to mix up my routine tonight because of Rebecca. I'm sure I'm not doing it exactly right, but I went on the treadmill tonight and went 2 minutes @ 4.5 mph, then 1 minute @ 5.5. This was very doable, so I only dropped to 5.0 for 2 minutes, and then up to 6.0 for 1 minute.
OMG, this Kelly Clarkson song is hurting my ears. Anyhoo...
6.0 was more like the short intense burst that I was looking for, but the second time around almost killed me, so I went back down to 4.5 to recover for a few.
My next "set" was more about incline. I pretty much stayed between 3.5 & 4.0 mph, but my incline went as follows: 5, 10, 6, 11, 7, 12, 8. (2 min, 1 min, 2, 1, etc...)
After that, I went back to the speed (or lack of speed) intervals. My last spurt was 6.0 for 1 minute, and I felt pushed, but fine still. I think I did about 4 6.0 1-minute spurts during the workout.
I'd like to play around with this to see if it helps me to be able to get higher than 6.0 (I'm sure it will). I realized something tonight. This is the best shape aerobically that I've ever been in (sad as it is). Even when I was about 21, I was only able to go about 4.3 for about 30 minutes (maybe limited to 30 only because of boredom). Still, 4.3 mph was pretty much pushing my limit. High school was certainly not any better. Now I laugh (lof) at 4.3. ha ha ha...foolish 4.3.
This morning I weighed in at 141 - better better better. Can I hear 140 by Saturday? I think so...
My calorie intake was good today. I had a piece of whole wheat toast with PB for breakfast - and a latte (a great way to get in milk). I had a South Beach entree for lunch - beef with broccoli...no carbs to mention. I had cottage cheese when I got home from work - before my workout. Then after my workout, I had another piece of whole wheat toast, PB, a banana, and a glass of milk. Oh yeah, I had another latte at work. According to my HR monitor, I burned 633 calories during my workout.
My pants feel better today. The young guy at work loved my hair. I need a shower...
Ok, I'm done rambling...except....So You Think You Can Dance is back on Thursday (YAY!)
OMG, this Kelly Clarkson song is hurting my ears. Anyhoo...
6.0 was more like the short intense burst that I was looking for, but the second time around almost killed me, so I went back down to 4.5 to recover for a few.
My next "set" was more about incline. I pretty much stayed between 3.5 & 4.0 mph, but my incline went as follows: 5, 10, 6, 11, 7, 12, 8. (2 min, 1 min, 2, 1, etc...)
After that, I went back to the speed (or lack of speed) intervals. My last spurt was 6.0 for 1 minute, and I felt pushed, but fine still. I think I did about 4 6.0 1-minute spurts during the workout.
I'd like to play around with this to see if it helps me to be able to get higher than 6.0 (I'm sure it will). I realized something tonight. This is the best shape aerobically that I've ever been in (sad as it is). Even when I was about 21, I was only able to go about 4.3 for about 30 minutes (maybe limited to 30 only because of boredom). Still, 4.3 mph was pretty much pushing my limit. High school was certainly not any better. Now I laugh (lof) at 4.3. ha ha ha...foolish 4.3.
This morning I weighed in at 141 - better better better. Can I hear 140 by Saturday? I think so...
My calorie intake was good today. I had a piece of whole wheat toast with PB for breakfast - and a latte (a great way to get in milk). I had a South Beach entree for lunch - beef with broccoli...no carbs to mention. I had cottage cheese when I got home from work - before my workout. Then after my workout, I had another piece of whole wheat toast, PB, a banana, and a glass of milk. Oh yeah, I had another latte at work. According to my HR monitor, I burned 633 calories during my workout.
My pants feel better today. The young guy at work loved my hair. I need a shower...
Ok, I'm done rambling...except....So You Think You Can Dance is back on Thursday (YAY!)
More on Low-Carb
Just a small thought that may make sense to some. I find that I can do low-carb when I feel like it's my choice to consume them or not. If I were on a structured low-carb plan, I'd feel like I wasn't allowed carbs; therefore, I'd need them.
I'm just such a rebel :)
I'm just such a rebel :)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Kashi Kraze
I didn't make it to the gym yesterday, but I was busy around the house and then we spent an hour or so putting together our new sleep number bed. It might not have been the most difficult workout of my life, but I was staying active nonetheless. I have a feeling if I'd have been this active for the past 5 years, then I wouldn't have put on the weight.
I did go to the gym tonight for my personal training, and I was pleasantly surprised when we were doing a lot of cardio. Guess what...I got to use the ArcTrainer. I've been looking at that machine for a long time, but haven't had the courage to get on. I liked it. It's always good to mix it up. I could see myself rotating between that and the elliptical and the treadmill someday :)
It's good to be back anyways. Oh, there is a new girl that started training with me/us. I told her I'd be in at least a couple extra times a week for cardio, and we exchanged numbers. I really need a regular workout partner. That would be way cool.
I ate well today too. I started out with a latte and some kashi cereal. I then had a kashi frozen dinner for lunch, and it was quite tasty. It wasn't on sale, but sometimes it's worth it to spend the extra $ on a good frozen dinner when you're feeling down in the dumps. It's still cheaper than going out to eat for lunch - and way less calories/fat (sometimes). Plus, the Kashi was very satisfying and filling with the whole grain ingredients that they use. I might be switching over permanently soon. I came home and ate some cottage cheese and headed to the gym. When I returned, I threw a couple corn tortillas on the stove to slightly crisp and dipped in hummous. It really was tasty.
I am trying to return to the point where I appreciate small indulgences. In my two-week slump, I became accustomed to eating junk regularly, and I lost the appreciation for such things as simple as a piece of bread. I know that moderation will return me to this, and I am much happier this way. Tonight I felt that again though. Two corn tortillas and a small amount of hummous was perfect. Yay. I think what I'm trying to say is that while I'm not a low-carb fanatic, I am much more satisfied and happier when I try to limit them. My carb intake had gotten a little out of control while I was slumping, and I know it's a lot easier to stay on plan when I'm not consuming empty calories through carbs.
Forgot to mention that my friends were going to Orchid Thai for lunch today, and I was about to abandon my Kashi meal. With demf looming and me trying hard to emerge from my slump, I backed out of lunch at the last minute. I felt proud of myself and in control...another great feeling. Food consumption is something that I have control over. After feeling in control for lunch, it was much easier to stay in control for dinner. Try it sometime if you haven't already. It turns into a little game for me sometimes. How much can I say no... It's hard to describe, but I have to put my mind in another place...
OMG...I feel like I'm typing like Paula Abdul is speaking tonight. Forgive me, but I am trying to watch AI while writing this.
One more bit of bad/good news. I stepped on the scale last night and almost passed out. 147!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! This was awful news, but it was also great for me I think. I don't know if yesterday was a fluke or what, but I do know that I haven't seen above 145 in quite some time, so it shocked me into taking every bite seriously today - and I wasn't going to miss the gym for anything. Luckily, I was 142 this morning and was still there this evening.
I'll be back at the gym tomorrow...
I did go to the gym tonight for my personal training, and I was pleasantly surprised when we were doing a lot of cardio. Guess what...I got to use the ArcTrainer. I've been looking at that machine for a long time, but haven't had the courage to get on. I liked it. It's always good to mix it up. I could see myself rotating between that and the elliptical and the treadmill someday :)
It's good to be back anyways. Oh, there is a new girl that started training with me/us. I told her I'd be in at least a couple extra times a week for cardio, and we exchanged numbers. I really need a regular workout partner. That would be way cool.
I ate well today too. I started out with a latte and some kashi cereal. I then had a kashi frozen dinner for lunch, and it was quite tasty. It wasn't on sale, but sometimes it's worth it to spend the extra $ on a good frozen dinner when you're feeling down in the dumps. It's still cheaper than going out to eat for lunch - and way less calories/fat (sometimes). Plus, the Kashi was very satisfying and filling with the whole grain ingredients that they use. I might be switching over permanently soon. I came home and ate some cottage cheese and headed to the gym. When I returned, I threw a couple corn tortillas on the stove to slightly crisp and dipped in hummous. It really was tasty.
I am trying to return to the point where I appreciate small indulgences. In my two-week slump, I became accustomed to eating junk regularly, and I lost the appreciation for such things as simple as a piece of bread. I know that moderation will return me to this, and I am much happier this way. Tonight I felt that again though. Two corn tortillas and a small amount of hummous was perfect. Yay. I think what I'm trying to say is that while I'm not a low-carb fanatic, I am much more satisfied and happier when I try to limit them. My carb intake had gotten a little out of control while I was slumping, and I know it's a lot easier to stay on plan when I'm not consuming empty calories through carbs.
Forgot to mention that my friends were going to Orchid Thai for lunch today, and I was about to abandon my Kashi meal. With demf looming and me trying hard to emerge from my slump, I backed out of lunch at the last minute. I felt proud of myself and in control...another great feeling. Food consumption is something that I have control over. After feeling in control for lunch, it was much easier to stay in control for dinner. Try it sometime if you haven't already. It turns into a little game for me sometimes. How much can I say no... It's hard to describe, but I have to put my mind in another place...
OMG...I feel like I'm typing like Paula Abdul is speaking tonight. Forgive me, but I am trying to watch AI while writing this.
One more bit of bad/good news. I stepped on the scale last night and almost passed out. 147!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! This was awful news, but it was also great for me I think. I don't know if yesterday was a fluke or what, but I do know that I haven't seen above 145 in quite some time, so it shocked me into taking every bite seriously today - and I wasn't going to miss the gym for anything. Luckily, I was 142 this morning and was still there this evening.
I'll be back at the gym tomorrow...
Monday, May 21, 2007
In the spirit of demf
Some of you may want to just tune out now if you've heard this all before.
Rebecca asked what demf is. To some, this might have a simple answer, but to me, demf is very symbolic of so many things, so I decided to devote an entire post to it.
First, the simple answer: Detroit's Electronic Music Festival. Details for demf 2007 can be found here.
Now the long answer (because I want to):
Where to start...Ok, I'll give the cliff notes version...
I grew up in a strict Baptist environment, but I ended up living on my own at the age of 18. I never thought that would happen, but it did. It wasn't long before I found my scene: techno, raves, etc... My future husband and I went to raves at least every weekend. After we got married and had our first kid, we somehow ended up back in church (the same one I had escaped from at 18). Crazy, considering he'd never been to church in his life. Well, he embraced it all - every last drop of it. I didn't realize what really had happened until it was too late. I was in a completely controlled marriage (under the guise of Biblical submission...ick). We went through some things a few years ago that got us out of that church, but the marriage was pretty much still the same. In late 2005, I got brave enough to voice that I was confused about my beliefs, and to my surprise and relief, he listened and actually confessed that he didn't think certain things were wrong. blah blah blah. After that, we began venturing out a little bit - mostly to clubs. It was so weird to be back in that scene again after ummm... almost 10 years.
Well, we kind of dabbled in all of it for about six months, and then in May 2006, my husband asked if I wanted to go to demf. I really had no clue what it was, and I really wasn't too interested...mostly because of my weight....for 2 reasons. I wasn't into doing things. Ick. walking around? I'd rather be watching tv. The second reason was because I felt out of place due to my weight. Well, I decided to go anyways, and I was actually kind of excited because...hold on...I wore pants out in public for the first time since we had gotten back into the whole church thing. Well, I wore them proudly all weekend. This was a turning point for me. I didn't ask my husband if I could. I just did it. So that is the first reason why demf is important to me. I became stronger that weekend and really began my journey to who I am today. Also, we hung out with all of our old friends that weekend and got to know each other again. My husband and I got to see the young fun side of each other again too. My marriage has gone through an extreme makeover since then. Sure, we have our normal struggles, but it is nothing like what it used to be. It's pretty hard for me to write all this, because it sounds so awful. I really am not stupid in general. It's probably impossible to understand unless you have been there. Btw...our marriage is nothing like that anymore.
Ok, next....
That weekend, I was sitting there looking at all the thin girls in their thin girl clothes. I was so jealous and inspired at the same time. I had been eating better for about a month at that point, and I set my first real goal that weekend. I wanted to lose 20 lbs by the next demf. This was probably the first time in my life that I had ever set such a reasonable goal. To have tripled that original goal is such a great feeling.
I really never thought that I'd stick with it to lose a lot of weight, but I thought that maybe, just maybe, that I could lose a small amount of weight over a long period of time. This has been my goal all year long. It's been fairly easy for me to stay on track, since I go out to clubs almost weekly - or at least bi-weekly, and I want to look nice. It's been so great to be able to go from a size 16 (should be 18 maybe) to a 10. I am not fully satisfied with a 10, but it's acceptable for now.
So, that's demf in a nutshell... or not... oh wait...it's not just about all that. It's also about MUSIC. How could I forget? oh, and friends...and afterparties... I could go on and on. I just love it - every bit of it.
Rebecca asked what demf is. To some, this might have a simple answer, but to me, demf is very symbolic of so many things, so I decided to devote an entire post to it.
First, the simple answer: Detroit's Electronic Music Festival. Details for demf 2007 can be found here.
Now the long answer (because I want to):
Where to start...Ok, I'll give the cliff notes version...
I grew up in a strict Baptist environment, but I ended up living on my own at the age of 18. I never thought that would happen, but it did. It wasn't long before I found my scene: techno, raves, etc... My future husband and I went to raves at least every weekend. After we got married and had our first kid, we somehow ended up back in church (the same one I had escaped from at 18). Crazy, considering he'd never been to church in his life. Well, he embraced it all - every last drop of it. I didn't realize what really had happened until it was too late. I was in a completely controlled marriage (under the guise of Biblical submission...ick). We went through some things a few years ago that got us out of that church, but the marriage was pretty much still the same. In late 2005, I got brave enough to voice that I was confused about my beliefs, and to my surprise and relief, he listened and actually confessed that he didn't think certain things were wrong. blah blah blah. After that, we began venturing out a little bit - mostly to clubs. It was so weird to be back in that scene again after ummm... almost 10 years.
Well, we kind of dabbled in all of it for about six months, and then in May 2006, my husband asked if I wanted to go to demf. I really had no clue what it was, and I really wasn't too interested...mostly because of my weight....for 2 reasons. I wasn't into doing things. Ick. walking around? I'd rather be watching tv. The second reason was because I felt out of place due to my weight. Well, I decided to go anyways, and I was actually kind of excited because...hold on...I wore pants out in public for the first time since we had gotten back into the whole church thing. Well, I wore them proudly all weekend. This was a turning point for me. I didn't ask my husband if I could. I just did it. So that is the first reason why demf is important to me. I became stronger that weekend and really began my journey to who I am today. Also, we hung out with all of our old friends that weekend and got to know each other again. My husband and I got to see the young fun side of each other again too. My marriage has gone through an extreme makeover since then. Sure, we have our normal struggles, but it is nothing like what it used to be. It's pretty hard for me to write all this, because it sounds so awful. I really am not stupid in general. It's probably impossible to understand unless you have been there. Btw...our marriage is nothing like that anymore.
Ok, next....
That weekend, I was sitting there looking at all the thin girls in their thin girl clothes. I was so jealous and inspired at the same time. I had been eating better for about a month at that point, and I set my first real goal that weekend. I wanted to lose 20 lbs by the next demf. This was probably the first time in my life that I had ever set such a reasonable goal. To have tripled that original goal is such a great feeling.
I really never thought that I'd stick with it to lose a lot of weight, but I thought that maybe, just maybe, that I could lose a small amount of weight over a long period of time. This has been my goal all year long. It's been fairly easy for me to stay on track, since I go out to clubs almost weekly - or at least bi-weekly, and I want to look nice. It's been so great to be able to go from a size 16 (should be 18 maybe) to a 10. I am not fully satisfied with a 10, but it's acceptable for now.
So, that's demf in a nutshell... or not... oh wait...it's not just about all that. It's also about MUSIC. How could I forget? oh, and friends...and afterparties... I could go on and on. I just love it - every bit of it.
What a day!
I did not make it to the gym today, but I think that I might have done just as well with everything that I've been doing around here. I don't know if I've mentioned that my husband has been out of town since Thursday, and well...let's just say he does a lot around here. I laugh when people ask if he helps out around the house and with the kids. It's more like I help him out. He never slows down. Anyways, this is pretty much the first time that he's ever been gone overnight. I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but I'm enjoying it. I guess it feels like I'm taking ownership of things that need to be done instead of just doing stuff so that he won't feel that I'm not pulling my weight. Sure, I've taken a few moments to blog and read blogs and gtalk, but for the most part, I've been moving moving moving.
Today, the kids and I got up and I cooked breakfast. I have always loved to cook breakfast, but I realized a long time ago how much more I love that the kids can get their own cereal in the morning.
Next, I deep-cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms. Then I made lunch for everyone: spinach wraps w/cream cheese, turkey, provolone, cucumbers, avocado, and fat-free honey dijon. Sadly, I couldn't find alfalfa sprouts at the store :(
After lunch, I took the kids to K-Mart (I love love love everything Martha Stewart there). We bought all new bedding for everyone and deck furniture. We got home and ate dinner... then got back to work. We changed up all the bedding (5 beds) and then unloaded all of the furniture stuff. Ok, I didn't actually think the whole shopping thing through while I was buying heavy furniture. I had to ask the hot neighbor guy to come over and help me get it from my van to my deck, and he did it all by himself....hmmmm....where was I... oh yeah...I still took everything out of the boxes though and took all the bubble wrap off it. All I know is that I definitely burned more calories today than I would on a normal Sunday. My eating was fine. Not awesome, but not bad.
Met some new folks this weekend. Please check them out. Rebecca & Marcol.
I'm going to hang up now and start my final blog of the day :)
Today, the kids and I got up and I cooked breakfast. I have always loved to cook breakfast, but I realized a long time ago how much more I love that the kids can get their own cereal in the morning.
Next, I deep-cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms. Then I made lunch for everyone: spinach wraps w/cream cheese, turkey, provolone, cucumbers, avocado, and fat-free honey dijon. Sadly, I couldn't find alfalfa sprouts at the store :(
After lunch, I took the kids to K-Mart (I love love love everything Martha Stewart there). We bought all new bedding for everyone and deck furniture. We got home and ate dinner... then got back to work. We changed up all the bedding (5 beds) and then unloaded all of the furniture stuff. Ok, I didn't actually think the whole shopping thing through while I was buying heavy furniture. I had to ask the hot neighbor guy to come over and help me get it from my van to my deck, and he did it all by himself....hmmmm....where was I... oh yeah...I still took everything out of the boxes though and took all the bubble wrap off it. All I know is that I definitely burned more calories today than I would on a normal Sunday. My eating was fine. Not awesome, but not bad.
Met some new folks this weekend. Please check them out. Rebecca & Marcol.
I'm going to hang up now and start my final blog of the day :)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Thank God You're Here!
Not trying to make excuses really, but TOM showed up unexpectedly yesterday. This is good for two reasons. It could explain part of why I've been so down (and crabby) lately. The second and more important reason is that for some reason I thought it would happen next Saturday, which is the beginning of demf. That would so suck. The hassle, not to mention the bloat and everything else that comes along with :)
I really think I'm getting back on track for real now. I went to the gym again yesterday and used the elliptical for an hour. To me, there are so many ways to mix up a good elliptical session. Plus, I feel a little thinner already...although I have not weighed myself in a while. I just can't yet. My eating has been pretty disgusting up until yesterday. It wasn't the greatest eating day, but it was pretty good. Engligh muffin w/pb, sushi, non-fat latte, hummus w/baked chips, asparagus, 1 glass of red wine, kind of an eat as you go day.
Plus, burning 700 calories at the gym is nice.
6 days until demf.
I really think I'm getting back on track for real now. I went to the gym again yesterday and used the elliptical for an hour. To me, there are so many ways to mix up a good elliptical session. Plus, I feel a little thinner already...although I have not weighed myself in a while. I just can't yet. My eating has been pretty disgusting up until yesterday. It wasn't the greatest eating day, but it was pretty good. Engligh muffin w/pb, sushi, non-fat latte, hummus w/baked chips, asparagus, 1 glass of red wine, kind of an eat as you go day.
Plus, burning 700 calories at the gym is nice.
6 days until demf.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Thank you, Fatboy
Several things to talk about. Yesterday, I got a call from the gym. Evidently, Emma (my 8 yr old) had submitted an essay for Mother's Day about why her mother deserved a day at the LifeSpa. It's a little embarassing actually, as it talked about how stressed I was because my kids were so bad all the time. Well, that was it in a nutshell anyways from what Emma told me she wrote.
Anyways, the gym told me I could pick up my giftbag in the LifeSpa. Ok, some of you know that I'm a hair freak and a product junkie, so there was no question that I was going to the gym to pick up my loot. I am going to admit that this phone call was more than enough to get my butt back.
If that wasn't enough, I decided to buy my own iPod today. I've been snagging my husband's up until now, and I'm sick of sharing. I came home and synched it all up, and then I headed out to the gym.
The last time I went was last Sunday (the one before last), so it was really not going well for me. In the past week, however, I've done other things like walked around Chicago, went dancing, and deep cleaned my house. I have also been eating like crap though. I did eat poorly today too, but I think tomorrow will be better now that I've put effort into working out.
My workout went quite well. It was a little shaky at first, but the third track was Fatboy Slim with Praise You. This was a recorded live set, so it was really exciting for me (with demf coming up). I was getting excited with the crowd, and then it went into another mix. I looked at my iPod and realized it was an hour set. I decided just to go for it and enjoy the show. I love the elliptical, because it kinda feels like dancing to me. I can adjust the resistance or incline to allow for different bpm's, so that I can keep with the music. It was such a great set too. Fatboy Slim mixed up some Deee-Lite (groove is in the heart), Gnarls Barkley (crazy), and many more. For the first half, I set the resistance at 7 and just worked it. Then for the second half, I took the resistance down to 3 and just flew. I really enoyed the second half, and I was hitting about 170 rpm's. Moments like this make me think about trying to run again.
That's pretty much it. I had a great 1 hour workout today. I have decided that I'm going to do everything within my power to go to the gym every single day this week, as it is the final week before demf weekend. I still haven't bought my clothes yet, since I was waiting to see if I could squeeze into an 8 by then. It's obviously not going to happen now, but at least I'll be able to wear 10's comfortably.
Ok, I'm so so so tired right now. Good night!
Anyways, the gym told me I could pick up my giftbag in the LifeSpa. Ok, some of you know that I'm a hair freak and a product junkie, so there was no question that I was going to the gym to pick up my loot. I am going to admit that this phone call was more than enough to get my butt back.
If that wasn't enough, I decided to buy my own iPod today. I've been snagging my husband's up until now, and I'm sick of sharing. I came home and synched it all up, and then I headed out to the gym.
The last time I went was last Sunday (the one before last), so it was really not going well for me. In the past week, however, I've done other things like walked around Chicago, went dancing, and deep cleaned my house. I have also been eating like crap though. I did eat poorly today too, but I think tomorrow will be better now that I've put effort into working out.
My workout went quite well. It was a little shaky at first, but the third track was Fatboy Slim with Praise You. This was a recorded live set, so it was really exciting for me (with demf coming up). I was getting excited with the crowd, and then it went into another mix. I looked at my iPod and realized it was an hour set. I decided just to go for it and enjoy the show. I love the elliptical, because it kinda feels like dancing to me. I can adjust the resistance or incline to allow for different bpm's, so that I can keep with the music. It was such a great set too. Fatboy Slim mixed up some Deee-Lite (groove is in the heart), Gnarls Barkley (crazy), and many more. For the first half, I set the resistance at 7 and just worked it. Then for the second half, I took the resistance down to 3 and just flew. I really enoyed the second half, and I was hitting about 170 rpm's. Moments like this make me think about trying to run again.
That's pretty much it. I had a great 1 hour workout today. I have decided that I'm going to do everything within my power to go to the gym every single day this week, as it is the final week before demf weekend. I still haven't bought my clothes yet, since I was waiting to see if I could squeeze into an 8 by then. It's obviously not going to happen now, but at least I'll be able to wear 10's comfortably.
Ok, I'm so so so tired right now. Good night!
Things that make us feel good
Rebecca made a comment about how the things that we do that make us feel good feed off of each other, and this reminded me of a blog that I posted over a year ago (May 6, 2006) when I'd not lost that much weight yet. Here is an excerpt:
"Last night, I did have the urge to really throw in the towel. This week, I've struggled a bit more. I've been in some unhealthy food situations. Yesterday, we went to Pacific Rim for lunch. (Upscale Asian cuisine type of thing). I got Pad Thai with Shrimp. It was so good. I don't know how bad it is, but I'm sure it's not the best. For some reason, I started craving pizza last night. I didn't get it, but I was also craving anything I could think of. Anyways, I got some new makeup in the mail the day before - Bare Escentuals, have you tried them...sooooo awesome (that might be another blog) - anyways, i went upstairs to try out my new makeup. Then I felt like I should do my hair. I was feeling very good about the way I looked, and I think that helped me to refocus on my goal of looking awesome. Instead of giving into all the cravings, I started exercising a little bit, and then had a light snack. So that's my new strategy - every time I want to eat bad, I'm going to do something else that makes me feel and look good. I think this will help me stay focused. For some reason, it's easier to not care about being fat when the rest of you is a mess. Maybe next time I'll change out of the sweats and put on some sexy jeans and redo my hair and makeup. Then I'll think of the SMALLER sexier jeans that I could be wearing if I stayed on track to lose the weight."
So I've always wanted to post an excerpt from my own writings...
"Last night, I did have the urge to really throw in the towel. This week, I've struggled a bit more. I've been in some unhealthy food situations. Yesterday, we went to Pacific Rim for lunch. (Upscale Asian cuisine type of thing). I got Pad Thai with Shrimp. It was so good. I don't know how bad it is, but I'm sure it's not the best. For some reason, I started craving pizza last night. I didn't get it, but I was also craving anything I could think of. Anyways, I got some new makeup in the mail the day before - Bare Escentuals, have you tried them...sooooo awesome (that might be another blog) - anyways, i went upstairs to try out my new makeup. Then I felt like I should do my hair. I was feeling very good about the way I looked, and I think that helped me to refocus on my goal of looking awesome. Instead of giving into all the cravings, I started exercising a little bit, and then had a light snack. So that's my new strategy - every time I want to eat bad, I'm going to do something else that makes me feel and look good. I think this will help me stay focused. For some reason, it's easier to not care about being fat when the rest of you is a mess. Maybe next time I'll change out of the sweats and put on some sexy jeans and redo my hair and makeup. Then I'll think of the SMALLER sexier jeans that I could be wearing if I stayed on track to lose the weight."
So I've always wanted to post an excerpt from my own writings...
Thursday, May 17, 2007
I'm Back...?
Check out my new do. Some will love. Some will hate. I still haven't decided.
And it's versatile:
And it's versatile:
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
K Gurl in hiding....
There were many ways that I wanted to start this blog...most of them not very nice. Here are some examples (since you forced me out of hiding):
I Hate You All
Damn You, Rob
Bastards
Leave Me Be
ok ok...I think you get the point...
I don't know why, but I'm in such a slump. I really really couldn't tell you why. At this point I'm just trying to stay afloat here. I am happy. Really I am. I just took that break and I'm not ready to get back to it yet. This is going on a 2 week slump now. Ick. I do have new job stress going on right now, but I love what I'm doing.
Here we go... I am definitely in this for the long haul, so don't count me out yet. I just am wallowing in my fatness right now. I can't believe that I've lost focus so close to the finish line though. How is that even f'ing possible? I can see demf. I can hear it. I can feel it.
I know the answer is to just jump back into the game, but for some reason, I just cannot. Not right now.
On a slightly more positive note. Wait. First a negative note. I went to the Thai restaurant for lunch today and got the sesame chicken...white rice though and no spring roll. I haven't had pop (soda) in ages. That's a good thing.
Oh, yeah...the positive note...I was going to go to Wendy's tonight for a chicken combo (breaded of course). I read Rob's blog on my way home from work (bad me...blogging while driving). I was pissed (not really...mad at myself, but amused with the post). I was going to come home and tell Rob to screw himself. Of course, in my mind it sounded funny, so don't take this the wrong way please :)
Anyways, as I'm driving, I'm thinking about the sesame chicken I had for lunch and the chicken combo I was about to have for dinner and slowly decided that the chicken combo was really the last thing that I wanted or needed. I mean, I kind of wanted it, but I would have hated myself after.
I decided to take a break from the normal salad though and opted for a plain baked potato and a small chili. I did end up putting some cheese and sour cream on it, but it was still better than the chicken combo I think.
So, for now...I'm playing the worst/better game. Hopefully I'll be able to get moving soon, but for now I will make better choices than the initial choice. That will have to be good enough.
I do need to go back to the gym and I will. Not today though. Tomorrow? maybe.
How about this. I will keep writing no matter what. Might not be good posts for a short while, but I'll still be here. I've come a long way, and I will make it to the finish line eventually. Soon I will get sick of my distended stomach and jumped back in full force. This is what I do. Seriously...for 13 months now. Trust me. I'll be back.
Did I say that enough times in different ways?
One last thought. I'm pretty sure that demf will motivate me while I'm there. All the young hotties walking around will be making me incredibly jealous, and I'll have a goals for the rest of summer. Overall, this past year has been quite a success, so I can't be too mad.
Ok, let me have it...
I Hate You All
Damn You, Rob
Bastards
Leave Me Be
ok ok...I think you get the point...
I don't know why, but I'm in such a slump. I really really couldn't tell you why. At this point I'm just trying to stay afloat here. I am happy. Really I am. I just took that break and I'm not ready to get back to it yet. This is going on a 2 week slump now. Ick. I do have new job stress going on right now, but I love what I'm doing.
Here we go... I am definitely in this for the long haul, so don't count me out yet. I just am wallowing in my fatness right now. I can't believe that I've lost focus so close to the finish line though. How is that even f'ing possible? I can see demf. I can hear it. I can feel it.
I know the answer is to just jump back into the game, but for some reason, I just cannot. Not right now.
On a slightly more positive note. Wait. First a negative note. I went to the Thai restaurant for lunch today and got the sesame chicken...white rice though and no spring roll. I haven't had pop (soda) in ages. That's a good thing.
Oh, yeah...the positive note...I was going to go to Wendy's tonight for a chicken combo (breaded of course). I read Rob's blog on my way home from work (bad me...blogging while driving). I was pissed (not really...mad at myself, but amused with the post). I was going to come home and tell Rob to screw himself. Of course, in my mind it sounded funny, so don't take this the wrong way please :)
Anyways, as I'm driving, I'm thinking about the sesame chicken I had for lunch and the chicken combo I was about to have for dinner and slowly decided that the chicken combo was really the last thing that I wanted or needed. I mean, I kind of wanted it, but I would have hated myself after.
I decided to take a break from the normal salad though and opted for a plain baked potato and a small chili. I did end up putting some cheese and sour cream on it, but it was still better than the chicken combo I think.
So, for now...I'm playing the worst/better game. Hopefully I'll be able to get moving soon, but for now I will make better choices than the initial choice. That will have to be good enough.
I do need to go back to the gym and I will. Not today though. Tomorrow? maybe.
How about this. I will keep writing no matter what. Might not be good posts for a short while, but I'll still be here. I've come a long way, and I will make it to the finish line eventually. Soon I will get sick of my distended stomach and jumped back in full force. This is what I do. Seriously...for 13 months now. Trust me. I'll be back.
Did I say that enough times in different ways?
One last thought. I'm pretty sure that demf will motivate me while I'm there. All the young hotties walking around will be making me incredibly jealous, and I'll have a goals for the rest of summer. Overall, this past year has been quite a success, so I can't be too mad.
Ok, let me have it...
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Ok...Seriously....
Tomorrow I get back on track. Yesterday I had a breakfast burrito and then a McDonalds Chicken Bacon Ranch salad. I also had a crispy chicken ranch snack wrap. For dinner, I had a glass of red wine and 2 beers and 2 lemon drops. My lunch was a little late, so I didn't really eat dinner. I danced for like 4 hours though - and it was great house music, so it was pretty much a straight 4 hours.
Today, I woke up and went straight to Starbucks to get a coffee with cream. I then stopped at a diner to get a farmers omellette. I could not believe that I ate the whole thing - and the toast. That was brunch, so I am going to try to eat a light dinner (maybe just a salad).
Tomorrow I go back to work - I haven't been to the office since last Tuesday. I find that it's much easier for me to eat better when I have a nice routine (you know...the breakfast bar / lean cuisine routine).
We usually have piano lessons on Monday nights, but that is on hold for now, so I will make a solid effort to go to the gym. Then I see the personal trainer on Tuesday night.
DEMF is less than two weeks away now, so I MUST MUST MUST get back on track to be under 140 by then. No, I haven't weighed myself for about a week. I am way too scared. Give me a few good days, then I will go for it.
Is anybody still out there? My reader is getting lonely. Seems like a lot of people are neglecting their blogs a bit lately. Write it up!
Today, I woke up and went straight to Starbucks to get a coffee with cream. I then stopped at a diner to get a farmers omellette. I could not believe that I ate the whole thing - and the toast. That was brunch, so I am going to try to eat a light dinner (maybe just a salad).
Tomorrow I go back to work - I haven't been to the office since last Tuesday. I find that it's much easier for me to eat better when I have a nice routine (you know...the breakfast bar / lean cuisine routine).
We usually have piano lessons on Monday nights, but that is on hold for now, so I will make a solid effort to go to the gym. Then I see the personal trainer on Tuesday night.
DEMF is less than two weeks away now, so I MUST MUST MUST get back on track to be under 140 by then. No, I haven't weighed myself for about a week. I am way too scared. Give me a few good days, then I will go for it.
Is anybody still out there? My reader is getting lonely. Seems like a lot of people are neglecting their blogs a bit lately. Write it up!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Does this leave me any choice?
Here is my horoscope for today...and yes I take these quite seriously :)
This can be an opportune time to begin a diet or a new exercise program as the Moon joins self-directed Mars in your 6th House of Health and Routine. Any changes you make to your daily regimen can have long lasting impact. Don't wait for a better moment; do it now while the planets are on your side.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Ugh...yeah i pretty much suck...
I don't even know where to start. How about this...will someone come kick my ass back into gear? There has been too long of a lapse now. I haven't really been good for a week now. I don't think I've been awful, but I no longer feel motivated.
My trip to Chicago was phenomenal. Loved every minute of it. I didn't snack much, and I don't think my meals were as bad as they could have been. I have kept to eating at least 1 salad a day. I think it makes me feel like I'm still doing something good if nothing else.
I exercised not one day this week - unless you count dancing. Even then, I didn't dance that much. I need to go to the gym tomorrow, but I don't feel like it. This is why you shouldn't skip more than a day or two. Good thing I've got the personal training sessions to make me go back...but my next one isn't until Tuesday. I must go back before then to burn off this pizza that I just ate. Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself here...
I think that it took me a few days to stop caring about what I am eating. Seriously...I think today was the first day that I just plain didn't seem to care. I wish that it would just be out of my system. Not the food - the mentality.
Ok, I am thinking of doing a detox for a few days at least...
I can't believe I ate 5 pieces of pizza tonight. Couldn't tell ya the last time I've done that. Blech...
My trip to Chicago was phenomenal. Loved every minute of it. I didn't snack much, and I don't think my meals were as bad as they could have been. I have kept to eating at least 1 salad a day. I think it makes me feel like I'm still doing something good if nothing else.
I exercised not one day this week - unless you count dancing. Even then, I didn't dance that much. I need to go to the gym tomorrow, but I don't feel like it. This is why you shouldn't skip more than a day or two. Good thing I've got the personal training sessions to make me go back...but my next one isn't until Tuesday. I must go back before then to burn off this pizza that I just ate. Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself here...
I think that it took me a few days to stop caring about what I am eating. Seriously...I think today was the first day that I just plain didn't seem to care. I wish that it would just be out of my system. Not the food - the mentality.
Ok, I am thinking of doing a detox for a few days at least...
I can't believe I ate 5 pieces of pizza tonight. Couldn't tell ya the last time I've done that. Blech...
Monday, May 7, 2007
Whoa - where did the last two days go...
I can't believe I haven't blogged since Friday. Nothing to say maybe??? I didn't eat great, but I still think that it wasn't the worst ever in my life either. I took my younger sister (21 yrs old) to the gym on Sunday, and I swear I'm in better shape than she is. That's a good feeling (for me anyways). I was sick of eating somewhat poorly, so today was no problem. Once again, I think it's for real this time. Healthy eating is a part of who I am, and I don't feel comfortable or good when I eat poorly.
This week may be a struggle for me. I'll be in Chicago for several days. I do plan on taking advantage of the fitness center at the hotel, and I would like to stay on top of my eating. Still might be tough though. I'm certainly not going to focus on losing weight, but I will have to try to maintain for sure.
Kirsten, here I come... yay! Can't wait to see you!!!
This week may be a struggle for me. I'll be in Chicago for several days. I do plan on taking advantage of the fitness center at the hotel, and I would like to stay on top of my eating. Still might be tough though. I'm certainly not going to focus on losing weight, but I will have to try to maintain for sure.
Kirsten, here I come... yay! Can't wait to see you!!!
Friday, May 4, 2007
Let's just get this one over with...
Today was cinco de mayo...
Being new to my office, I decided to do the proper social thing by participating in the cinco de mayo festivities. I paid my $8 for the food, and I ate all of it. Every last bit. I'm not gonna lie. It was delicious, and I loved every bite.
It was a stressful day/week, and I poured myself a glass of red wine almost as soon as I walked in the door tonight. Hey, it's Friday.
I'm sore from my workout yesterday, so I will not be going to the gym today - tomorrow, yes. I have pains that I don't think should be messed with, so I'm taking a day off. Whatevs...
Next glass...coming up...
Oh wait...some accomplishments. Engagement ring has been on for 2 days now (with my wedding band...yay). My second fav suit, which is supposed to have a stretchy element to it, is no longer stretchy...yay. I'm getting my hair did tomorrow night...something drastic that I wouldn't do when I was fat. No, I don't know what it is yet - it's a surprise from my gurl Jenn (Glam). I guess the hair part wasn't really an accomplishment, but it's still one of my favorite activities (hair and makeup...yay). I think there was something else that I keep forgetting to mention... hmmm... maybe I'll have an addendum for lata...
ok...i may delete this blog in the morn...
I am SOOOOOO glad it's Friday. what a beautiful evening...
Being new to my office, I decided to do the proper social thing by participating in the cinco de mayo festivities. I paid my $8 for the food, and I ate all of it. Every last bit. I'm not gonna lie. It was delicious, and I loved every bite.
It was a stressful day/week, and I poured myself a glass of red wine almost as soon as I walked in the door tonight. Hey, it's Friday.
I'm sore from my workout yesterday, so I will not be going to the gym today - tomorrow, yes. I have pains that I don't think should be messed with, so I'm taking a day off. Whatevs...
Next glass...coming up...
Oh wait...some accomplishments. Engagement ring has been on for 2 days now (with my wedding band...yay). My second fav suit, which is supposed to have a stretchy element to it, is no longer stretchy...yay. I'm getting my hair did tomorrow night...something drastic that I wouldn't do when I was fat. No, I don't know what it is yet - it's a surprise from my gurl Jenn (Glam). I guess the hair part wasn't really an accomplishment, but it's still one of my favorite activities (hair and makeup...yay). I think there was something else that I keep forgetting to mention... hmmm... maybe I'll have an addendum for lata...
ok...i may delete this blog in the morn...
I am SOOOOOO glad it's Friday. what a beautiful evening...
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Today
Ok, I was afraid to weigh myself this morning because of my "hugely" successful weigh-in yesterday, so I didn't. That might be cheating a little, but it works for me. I ate lightly today and drank all my water, then I decided to brave the scale before I hit the gym. Still at 138ish!!!! That's awesome considering it was the middle of the day and I'd drank more water than usual. I will be weighing myself tomorrow morning for sure.
I met with the trainer tonight and it was a nice workout. My new friend, Davina, wanted to do some cardio before leaving, so I took the opportunity to jump on the elliptical. We stayed on for 30 minutes and I burned an extra 300 calories. This is why people should workout together if at all possible. Of course, I used to workout with a friend when I was younger, and we'd leave early to hit BK all the time. But we were thin back then, so...
22 days till demf...
I met with the trainer tonight and it was a nice workout. My new friend, Davina, wanted to do some cardio before leaving, so I took the opportunity to jump on the elliptical. We stayed on for 30 minutes and I burned an extra 300 calories. This is why people should workout together if at all possible. Of course, I used to workout with a friend when I was younger, and we'd leave early to hit BK all the time. But we were thin back then, so...
22 days till demf...
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
And the drop....
Yes, there it is...I actually did not expect this, but today my morning weigh-in was somewhere between 137 & 138. Completely and solidly below 140 & the lowest I've ever weighed since having kids. There may still be fluctuations in my future, but I feel that it's solidly down there now. I am now about 5 lbs away from the point where I no longer have to consider myself technically overweight. Do I feel a swimsuit pic comin' on???? Ummm...not quite yet. Maybe when I hit normal weight range. We'll see....
Now I think I could actually hit 135 by demf. 24 days away. It's a very realistic goal.
Now I think I could actually hit 135 by demf. 24 days away. It's a very realistic goal.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Question from Billy
Comment From Billy: I wanted to ask you about something you blogged about a few days ago. You mentioned that you had better weight loss results when you didn't go to the gym? I ask because I know that in the past, when I was sick or something and couldn't work out for a week or so, I would lose more weight. I attributed it to losing muscle. What's your take?
I have a lot of thoughts on this, and I really don't know if one of them is right or if it's a combination. My first thought is that yes, it's due to muscle loss. However, I don't think that there is any way that the 40 lbs I lost while not working out was all muscle loss. I do think that it would have been better for me to keep working out, but I don't think I would have lost as many pounds (although I might be at the same size - with better composition maybe).
My second line of thought is that I think I eat a lot more when I work out regularly. I don't know if this is because I justify more snacking because of all the working out or if I just need more calories. Either way, I think that the net amount of calories I consume (without burning) is less when I don't work out - but that's just me.
My trainer told me that weight loss is more about eating less - portion control. This will help with weight loss a ton more than exercise will. If you are working out all the time but continue to eat like you did before...chances are you're not going to lose much weight fast. You may gain muscle, but the fat is going to stick around. I know that when I was doing the Team Weight Loss class, I was still eating a lot of calories. I lost 13 pounds in 12 weeks, which was fine, but I really focused on eating better after I stopped going to the gym. This is when I started losing most of the weight to get me to where I am now. Yes, I could have done a lot better in that class had I stuck to the diet; however, that would have been too drastic for me - just because I know myself. (I'm Libra - it's all about the balance for me.) We all have to find what works best for us individually, and I think that I've finally figured myself out. I have other friends that can only be all or nothing and that totally works for them.
Sorry if I took a simple question and just went crazy with it. I tend to do that at times :)
I have a lot of thoughts on this, and I really don't know if one of them is right or if it's a combination. My first thought is that yes, it's due to muscle loss. However, I don't think that there is any way that the 40 lbs I lost while not working out was all muscle loss. I do think that it would have been better for me to keep working out, but I don't think I would have lost as many pounds (although I might be at the same size - with better composition maybe).
My second line of thought is that I think I eat a lot more when I work out regularly. I don't know if this is because I justify more snacking because of all the working out or if I just need more calories. Either way, I think that the net amount of calories I consume (without burning) is less when I don't work out - but that's just me.
My trainer told me that weight loss is more about eating less - portion control. This will help with weight loss a ton more than exercise will. If you are working out all the time but continue to eat like you did before...chances are you're not going to lose much weight fast. You may gain muscle, but the fat is going to stick around. I know that when I was doing the Team Weight Loss class, I was still eating a lot of calories. I lost 13 pounds in 12 weeks, which was fine, but I really focused on eating better after I stopped going to the gym. This is when I started losing most of the weight to get me to where I am now. Yes, I could have done a lot better in that class had I stuck to the diet; however, that would have been too drastic for me - just because I know myself. (I'm Libra - it's all about the balance for me.) We all have to find what works best for us individually, and I think that I've finally figured myself out. I have other friends that can only be all or nothing and that totally works for them.
Sorry if I took a simple question and just went crazy with it. I tend to do that at times :)
May 1st, part 2
Ok, I just got back from the gym. 60 minutes of personal training. My heart rate monitor said I burned 539 calories. Not too much with the weights tonight, so maybe I will stay under 140 tomorrow morning. That would be awesome.
I bought some new workout clothes this past weekend, and may I say how utterly impressed with the way they look on me. Ok, yes, I understand how vain this is, but my thighs are actually looking tight. I cannot believe how small and firm they are looking - especially the lower parts of them. I have almost never had small thighs in my life, so I hope everyone understands that this is just from my perspective. There are plenty of people out there that would slit their wrists if they woke up with my body. Does anyone remember that made for tv movie from the 80's with Mare Winningham - where her body survived an accident but not her brain, and vice versa for this beautiful blonde. Long story short, they did a brain transplant, and the blonde's brain was not happy with what she woke up to. Ok, it all made sense to me when I was writing it, but now I'm second guessing how relevant this all is.
Anyways, another great workout. I cannot wait for my brother to see me next week. I've lost over 20 pounds since his last visit...and he was super impressed even back then.
Life really is good. For now...or until tomorrow when I see 143 on the scale again.
Oh, one more quick thought...for those that have watched Biggest Loser... ya know how there's that one week where everyone starts to look really different. It all seems to start happening for everyone at the same time - and everything starts changing very quickly from that week on. The muscle starts to take over and the fat starts melting off. I feel that's where I'm at now. It seems that every day I see another change. Such a great feeling. Ok, I'm done with this entry now - seriously :)
Have a great night!
I bought some new workout clothes this past weekend, and may I say how utterly impressed with the way they look on me. Ok, yes, I understand how vain this is, but my thighs are actually looking tight. I cannot believe how small and firm they are looking - especially the lower parts of them. I have almost never had small thighs in my life, so I hope everyone understands that this is just from my perspective. There are plenty of people out there that would slit their wrists if they woke up with my body. Does anyone remember that made for tv movie from the 80's with Mare Winningham - where her body survived an accident but not her brain, and vice versa for this beautiful blonde. Long story short, they did a brain transplant, and the blonde's brain was not happy with what she woke up to. Ok, it all made sense to me when I was writing it, but now I'm second guessing how relevant this all is.
Anyways, another great workout. I cannot wait for my brother to see me next week. I've lost over 20 pounds since his last visit...and he was super impressed even back then.
Life really is good. For now...or until tomorrow when I see 143 on the scale again.
Oh, one more quick thought...for those that have watched Biggest Loser... ya know how there's that one week where everyone starts to look really different. It all seems to start happening for everyone at the same time - and everything starts changing very quickly from that week on. The muscle starts to take over and the fat starts melting off. I feel that's where I'm at now. It seems that every day I see another change. Such a great feeling. Ok, I'm done with this entry now - seriously :)
Have a great night!
New low
I just weighed myself after work. Don't get on me for weighing myself too much...it helps me usually. Well, anyways...I weighed in at 138.5. I am about to go to the gym, so I hope that it will stay under 140 tomorrow morning. It might not, because of the strength training tonight, but it will go there again eventually - soon I think.
Just a Quickie
I was very busy at work today, so it was easy to stay on track with my eating. SB breakfast bar, Lean Cuisine for lunch, some pretzels from someone else's desk, and coffee with just creamer (i always allow myself this - it really is my snack usually). Got home from work and went to the gym. Used the treadmill today, and I was happy with my endurance. 60 minutes total .. about 40 of those minutes going at 4.5 mph. 5 minutes total going 5.0 - 5.4ish (gotta start somewhere). 10 minutes at anywhere from 3.0 - 3.5 with an incline of anywhere from 8 - 15%. Heart rate monitor said that I burned over 600 calories. Yay. Then got the mocha madness shake from the Life Cafe. I don't even care how many calories. Today was an extra workout for the week and that was my dinner.
Over the weekend, I also enjoyed the outdoors. Pretty much ditto to Beck's blog on that subject. In the past, I've never wanted to spend time outdoors really, but I was excited to go walking through the Botannical Gardens in Ann Arbor (probably about 2 -3 miles total). I even took a quick jog through an open area. I'm pretty sure that part of the difference is being comfortable in my skin (and clothing). I also want to make that a part of my lifestyle. Ideally, we shouldn't have to go to a gym to get our exercise in, but it's pretty much the way it has to be in places like Michigan where we commute almost everywhere. Maybe someday I'll be successful in just being active in general, but for now, I need the gym.
I think I'm going to weigh in at less tomorrow (just a hunch). I'm starting to get a little frantic as my goal was to be solidly below 140 by the time my brother returned from college. That is one week from tomorrow. I know I can do it. I have to - I've met every goal up till this point. That being said...I will be ok if I don't make it. It's still good to have goals - although I agree with Rob's blog today too. Update @ 6:40 am 05/01/07: I weighed in at 140 this morning. Let's see if it'll stick. I kind of think it will. Cross your fingers for me.
Ok, I know I said this was a quickie blog, but evidently I don't know how to write short ones...maybe I should consider using a different font size...
Over the weekend, I also enjoyed the outdoors. Pretty much ditto to Beck's blog on that subject. In the past, I've never wanted to spend time outdoors really, but I was excited to go walking through the Botannical Gardens in Ann Arbor (probably about 2 -3 miles total). I even took a quick jog through an open area. I'm pretty sure that part of the difference is being comfortable in my skin (and clothing). I also want to make that a part of my lifestyle. Ideally, we shouldn't have to go to a gym to get our exercise in, but it's pretty much the way it has to be in places like Michigan where we commute almost everywhere. Maybe someday I'll be successful in just being active in general, but for now, I need the gym.
I think I'm going to weigh in at less tomorrow (just a hunch). I'm starting to get a little frantic as my goal was to be solidly below 140 by the time my brother returned from college. That is one week from tomorrow. I know I can do it. I have to - I've met every goal up till this point. That being said...I will be ok if I don't make it. It's still good to have goals - although I agree with Rob's blog today too. Update @ 6:40 am 05/01/07: I weighed in at 140 this morning. Let's see if it'll stick. I kind of think it will. Cross your fingers for me.
Ok, I know I said this was a quickie blog, but evidently I don't know how to write short ones...maybe I should consider using a different font size...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
