OOPS!

So last night I was all ready to go to boot camp (early even), and I went to get the kids in the van...no keys to be found anywhere. We searched for about an hour, but I finally accepted the fact that my husband probably just took both sets to work on accident (this ended up to be true). So I missed. I'd like to say that I used the bowflex instead, but that would be a lie. I did 10 pushups though :P I was going to do more, but I didn't. Oh well. What's done is done. I am supposed to join a friend tomorrow morning for a spinning class, but I'm having a little party tonight...hope I still make the class.

This next part is for Rebecca...another shopping adventure :)

I'm going back to work on Monday, and I thought I should update my wardrobe a little. The last time I bought business attire was in January or February. I was so excited to be getting mostly all size 12's. I looked a ton thinner in those than I did in my 16's that I was still wearing, despite the 45 lbs gone. I've still been wearing those 12's mixed in with a couple of size 10 pants that I bought a few months ago. Since that last shopping spree, I've lost an additional 20 pounds and who knows how many inches. The 10's that I bought a few months ago get loose by the time I get to work usually, so I decided it was time to get some 8's. I bought 2 size 8 suits and some separates. I didn't go too crazy, because this is not my final resting point.

Everything was 40% - 50% off, so I got it all for $130. Actually, I had to fight for an additional $20 off. They had this coupon in their shoe flyer for $20 off any $100 purchase. The coupon listed what it excluded, but it didn't say it was for shoes specifically. The cashier, who was way nice, kept telling me that it was for shoes only. I asked for a manager, who wasn't available...whatever...I wasn't leaving until I got my $20 off. Finally, after about 10 minutes, the pricing dept (?) said it was good for anything. Ugh. It was just the principle of the matter by that point, but I swear I was about to sue the company :) I must have been in a feisty mood yesterday, because I am so not like that usually.

Ok, back to the shopping stuff...my new suits are a hair snug, but they still look very nice. I'm always amazed at how much thinner I look in clothes that actually fit. When I was looking in the mirror, I realized that I've turned into one of "those" girls at work...the young trendy professionals. I've always been told I look much younger than my age. Now I'm getting the body back.

My next stop was at VS for some seamless intimates :) The girl asked what size I was looking for, so I said probably Large. My remaining weight is mostly in my lower half (genetics). She looked at me and said I probably only needed Medium. I took her advice, and she was absolutely right.

My final stop was Macy's. I got this seamless Flexee's thing, which is supposed to smooth you out. Wow! This makes my suits look even way nicer. I would highly recommend this product to any of the ladies that might be reading this. It is worth every bit of the $25. I think it's very similar to Spanx. The best part of this stop is that I found out I still had $75 left on a gift card from last Christmas :)

The whole point to my story is this: For some reason, I think I have a hard time believing that I am actually a size 8 or a medium. I keep thinking that I'm going to go to the store and find out that they were wrong, and I should have been in 10's or even 12's all along. So far, this hasn't really happened. Don't get me wrong, 8's could still look better on me, but 10's would be too large. It's so weird to go into a store knowing that I am an average size. Rebecca made a comment on a post about how she enjoyed reading about my shopping adventures, probably because of my ability to admire myself. I don't know if I admire myself. I'm just in constant disbelief that it's really me. I think I'm actually just trying to convince myself that I look fine or good even. When I look at it rationally, I look fine...considering the fact that I'm in my 30's and have 4 kids. I'm about the same size I was before I had kids...except there is evidence of past pregnancy that will never go away (stretch marks, extra belly, etc...). I just think that I'll never ever be satisfied, and maybe this is not such a bad thing? Maybe I need that dissatisfaction to keep me pushing forward to get that body that I never thought possible before. I don't know the right answer. Confidence is good, but maybe my confidence is fake...actually insecurity?

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Maybe you guys of all people will understand though.

I will try to take some pics of me in my new suits later if I think about it.

One last note. I was really irritated when I saw how many cool suits they had at the store for average height people. Being petite is so limiting. I know it's about demand and all that, but I still hate it. I sometimes wish I were taller...even though I don't mind being a shortie for the most part. Maybe now that I'm getting a better shape, I'll get more adventurous and buy suits online. I didn't try on anything yesterday that looked bad on me, so hopefully the same would be true for online orders. It's funny how when I was really fat, I used to get mad at the clothes for looking so awful on me. (I did understand that it was more about me though and not the clothes.)

Sorry for the super long post today :)