Week 2 - Complete

Tonight marks the end of my second week of half-marathon training. So far, so good. This week ended with a 4-mile run. I was able to shave off 3 minutes from the same run last week (49 minutes this week), and I expect to do much better next week. I could move onto Week 3's plan next week, but I think I'll repeat Week 2 to feel just a little more caught up before moving on. 

I changed up my eating strategy a little this week as well. I'm switching from low-calorie to "food for fuel" mentality. I'm trying to eat healthy food that will help me to maximize my workouts. Healthy snacks in between healthy meals. I obviously want to limit my calories somewhat, but I'm no longer trying to just lose weight. I want to be fit again. 

This weekend was a little more difficult to eat clean, because I had family in town; however, I think we've done fairly well, considering...

...except for the Mexican food last night. But that's just one meal. One meal does not make you fat. 

Week 1 - Complete

I completely followed the half-marathon training plan for this week. Today was my 4 mile run, and it was my best "run" so far. This is a good sign. I know that it's just going to take a little time for my body to realize that I more from it now. Today I ran 1 mile, walked 1 minute, then ran the next mile, walked 1 minute, etc...till the 4 miles were done. This is a fine strategy, since the most important part is finishing it. The next week is the same exact as this week, so I hope to see some slight improvements in time (took me 52 minutes today...ugh). Maybe I won't rest between miles or maybe my miles will be faster. We shall see. 

Everything else is going well. I'm also doing 3 days of mild strength training and one day of yoga per week. I had a couple of days of cravings this week, but I don't think I blew it too bad. 

That's all I got today.

Here we go

Ok. School is officially over, and my summer has begun. My eating is back in check, and I started my workouts yesterday. I'm back in the 130's, which is exciting, but certainly not good enough. 

One thing that I've not wanted to say quite yet was that I am jumping on the half-marathon wagon. I am not always great with follow-through, but I've watched so many others that are also self-admittedly "not great with follow-through" follow through on this. I need a goal anyways, and it's perfect timing for the summer. 

I'm following the Hal Higdon 12-week plan. I started a 12-week yoga class on Monday for the stretching. This forced me to kick-start myself into it, so tonight I did my first 3 mile run (on the plan). 

Ok. I've said it. Now I have to do it. Right? 

6 More Days

I have 6 more days before the end of the semester. This next week will be difficult with finals and a research paper due, but on Saturday, I will feel so good. I'm very excited that in the past 9 months, I've completed 30 more credits toward my degree. Never in my life did I think that would ever be possible. I know a lot of you out there have your degrees, but for some reason, I never really had the desire to go for it - it just seemed so out of reach for me...especially after I started having kids. Despite that, I've been relatively successful. 

I feel strongly that this ties in closely to my weight loss. First, I think the fact that I was successful in losing weight, which I never thought was possible, helped me to realize that I can accomplish anything. Second, and maybe more importantly, I realized that I have had self-limiting beliefs...settling on very good.

I have done things in the past 3 years that I never ever ever thought possible...mainly in the area of fitness. What I came to realize is that there really aren't things that I can't do. Beyond that, I think there are things that I didn't realize I could do so well. It just takes effort and desire.

In my professional life, I've admired others for various things. As I stated before, I have been relatively successful, but I have come to realize that I am so much more than that. I have finally stopped thinking that I am best behind the scenes. Currently, I write proposals and prepare this and that for others to do the presenting basically. It's my job to know the details and their job to present them. Of course, they get paid more too. There are times when I'm the presenter, and I've realized that I absolutely love it - and I thrive when I'm doing this. I always thought that I hated that kind of thing, but now I know that it's just about confidence - and I also know that I can do it just as well as some of the others, if not better.  

I've rarely applied for a position that I didn't get, and I've held a lot of positions. However, doesn't that just mean that I've never risked anything? It's like I've always made sure that I was the big fish in the little pond. Safe.

So...I'm not anywhere near the point of being done with school yet - I still have about 2 years left, but I know that if I just tackle one semester at a time, it will happen soon enough. It's a terrible job market out there right now anyways - a good time to focus on the education. I absolutely can't wait to get done though. I think it's what's been holding me back mentally from going for the big stuff. Not only will I know more, but I will also have that feeling of accomplishment. 

Of course, the real problem is that I can't apply myself to everything all the time and succeed at all of them. I took 3 courses in the fall (along with full-time job and 4 kids), and I got all A's. I was able to workout some and not completely lose my sanity. I took 4 courses in Winter, and I chose to not get all A's, since the grades won't transfer to my 4-year college anyways. I went to the gym only a few times, gave up my entire social and family life, and I lost some of my sanity. This was too much, but at least it's almost done. 

Another positive thing is that I've learned about my limitations. Like I said before, I have never felt that I've truly tested out the limits of what I can accomplish in life...always settling.

I didn't mean to say all that, and I probably should have used some of that energy to write my research paper that's due tomorrow. I really just wanted to say that I'll be done with this semester on Friday, and after that, it's back on. My next class does not begin until September, so I am going to have over 4 months to get everything back in order. Since I've started school, my weight has been fairly consistently in the low 140's, which is definitely outside of my comfortable range. Beyond that, I've lost my tone, of course. I'm totally determined to get back in shape, and now I will have the strength, energy, and time to devote to it. I honestly can't wait. I've already started reducing my caloric intake, but I have much room for improvement in that area as well.

A constant work in progress...

The light at the end of the tunnel...

I have just about 4 weeks of school left, and I think the worst part of it is over. With the end in sight, I've decided to get back to the gym. This leaves me about 2 months before demf (my annual goal date), which is always Memorial Day weekend. I have a lot of work to do, and I know I won't be where I was last year. That's ok. I've made great strides in other areas of my life that I'm proud of. By the time demf rolls around, I'll have completed another 30 credits toward my degree. Woohoo... only 60 to go :/ 

I went to the gym this morning and did a full-body strength training workout, and I plan on going tomorrow to hit the treadmill. My goal is to commit to Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Anything extra will be a nice bonus. I doubt I'll ever make it on Wednesdays or Fridays, since I always have school deadlines on those days.

I haven't decided when I'll commit to great eating, but I think it will be soon. Until then, I will attempt to eat in moderation in order to minimize the damage. 

Another positive thing... I went shopping yesterday for some new workout clothes and a few new tops for work, and it was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. Basically, I'm still about a size 8. In fact, I put on a pair of size 10 dress slacks, and I was swimming in them. I'm starting to wonder if the pants that I currently own have maybe shrunk in the wash. Also, the majority of the tops I bought were mediums, although I did get a couple of larges...since they were that clingy material. I thought the looser ones looked much better...don't want to highlight my current flabbiness. 

So that's that. My size isn't awful, but everything needs to be put back in place. This is where the workouts come in. It usually takes about 3 weeks to start seeing some nice results; however, working out always makes me feel better and stand taller.

Just checking in...

Not much has changed since my last blog, but I wanted to at least post a few lines. 

I'm excited that this semester will be done in about 6 weeks, and I've decided to take the summer off of school. This will give me over 4 months to get back into the swing of things. I can't wait to get back to the gym. Yes, I realize that I could go back at any time, but it just wouldn't be right. There are other things that would have to go. 

Work has been insanely busy, but I finally started pushing back a little this past week. I've found my limits, and I plan on being more vocal in this area, as needed. 

My diet has been much improved lately. I think I really started watching things a few weeks ago. Even if I can't make it to the gym, I can control what food goes into my mouth. It may not be low enough to help me lose weight, but I don't think I'm gaining weight either. 

Confession time: My 8s have been tight for awhile. A month or so ago, I started wearing my 10s again...but even those don't feel great. A few weeks ago, I decided to not wear the 10s anymore. I know that wearing them makes me almost think it's not that bad...but it is that bad. Wearing the 10s makes me feel that it's ok to eat more, since there is more room. 

I will not be ok with wearing size 10. I refuse. 

I will be a size 8 or smaller. Period.

From my textbook...

"The person you will be tomorrow has yet to be created."

I just love knowing that we all have the power to change to create a better tomorrow for ourselves. It's so difficult sometimes to not define ourselves by who we are or who we once were. 

I vividly remember a conversation I had with my husband several years ago where I was telling him that I could never hope to have a fit body in my lifetime. I was just so far gone. He disagreed with me, but I was completely convinced that it was impossible.

I didn't do anything about it for a long time after that, but I eventually did. I'm not where I should be, but I now know that it is completely possible to get to where I want to be. Just knowing this keeps me somewhat on track. 

FYI...

My fitness has taken a back seat to everything else going on with me for now. I'll be done with this semester in just 2-3 months, and then I think I'll be able to breathe a little easier. This is not an excuse necessarily. It's just the way that it is. 

A final quote from my book today:

"If you are living to a label, you have molded for yourself a fictional self-concept with artificial boundaries."